Headlines for the New Year
by David S. Cohen on Dec 30, 2009 10:08 AM EST
65 comments
In light of the season (and the dry spell of Phillies news), I figured I’d try something fun here in lieu of your standard Phillies fare. Here I’m going to give you four headlines for the upcoming year, all related to the Phillies, of course. They fall in the bolded categories below.
I encourage everyone else to join in with their own contributions in these categories in the comments.
Headline I'm most fearful of seeing in 2010: Roy Halladay out for season with torn rotator cuff.
Headline I most want to see in 2010: Cole Hamels wins NL Cy Young award.
Headline I most expect to see in 2010: Mets out of NL East race as they battle injuries once again.
Headline I least expect to see in 2010: Eric Bruntlett leads Nationals to first ever post-season appearance.
Now it's your turn. Have fun, and may all your Phillies dreams come true in 2010!
Happy New Year!
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Fearful headline:
Castro ready for everyday status following Rollins injury.
Just writing that makes me sick.
by Pedro45 on Dec 30, 2009 10:19 AM EST via mobile reply actions
Best headline: Phils reach 3rd consecutive World Series, Chase Utley named World Series MVP
Nightmare headline: March 12, 2010 Rollins, Utley collide while fielding fly ball, both out for season
Least likely, yet awesome headline: Phillies named starting all-stars, first team ever to earn all 9 starting spots
Most Fearful Headline: Jason Bay hits 3 home runs on final day of season to lead Mets to division title.
Most Expected Headline: Jamie Moyer retires
Best Headline: Phillies sweep Yanks in the World Series by a margin of 40-5.
Hopeful Headline: Phils’ rotation features two 20 game winners and two 15 game winners.
by WanderingMoses on Dec 30, 2009 10:52 AM EST reply actions
Headline I’m most fearful of: Utley tears up knee after hard take-out slide by Bay on DP
Headline I most want to see: Werth inks long term deal
Headline I expect: Moyer retires during Spring Training
Headline I least expect: Nationals finish 3rd in division behind PHI and ATL
Chase Utley is so good that on one pitch he stole second, third and the shortstop's hat.
"Headline I least expect: Nationals finish 3rd in division behind PHI and ATL"
I’d expect even less: Nationals edge out Mets to claim division; Pittsburgh to play wild card New York
"When you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
And all I ask of you is
Believe"
Headline I most expect: Following a subpar season, Chipper Jones retires.
Headline I least expect: Chase Utley finally wins NL MVP.
Best Headline: Ryan Howard hits pennant-winning walkoff home run off of Francisco Rodriguez.
Worst Headline: Phillies re-sign Eric Bruntlett.
"You grip it like this, and then throw the s**t out of it."
-Steve Carlton, on his slider
by ThinMountainAir on Dec 30, 2009 11:13 AM EST reply actions
Alternative best headline: Jimmy Rollins scores pennant winning run on Jason Bay fielding error.
"You grip it like this, and then throw the s**t out of it."
-Steve Carlton, on his slider
by ThinMountainAir on Dec 30, 2009 3:26 PM EST up reply actions
Headline I’m most fearful of seeing in 2010: Phillies miss playoffs for first time in 3 years.
Headline I most want to see in 2010: . Cole Hamels once again World Series MVP
Headline I most expect to see in 2010: Phillies win NL East 4th Straight year!
Headline I least expect to see in 2010: Jamie Moyer wins game number 22!
Most Fearful Headline: Met’s deliver revenge to Phillies with amazing September comeback
Most Want to See: Howard sets new Home Run mark with 75
Most Expected Headline: Phillies start slow again, but finish strong
Least Expected Headline: Bruntlett wins NL MVP
by Powerpointgeek on Dec 30, 2009 11:29 AM EST reply actions
Headline I’m most fearful of seeing in 2010: Cole and Heidi Hamels excited about their new reality show, “Hangin with the Hamels”
Headline I most want to see in 2010: Mets lose more than initially revealed in Madoff scam, forced to pay Bay in IOUs
Headline I most expect to see in 2010: Cy Young-winning Halladay leads Phillies to NL-best record
Headline I least expect to see in 2010: Charlie Manuel retires, Shane Victorino hyping Jon Gosselin as successor
Odd – my post showed up originally in plain text but now appears in bold.
by David S. Cohen on Dec 30, 2009 12:04 PM EST up reply actions
i think i saved the internets!
http://www.thegoodphight.com
by WholeCamels on Dec 30, 2009 12:07 PM EST up reply actions
Headline I’m most fearful of seeing in 2010: Phillies trade Domonic Brown to the Giants for Freddy Sanchez following after Rollins ACL tear.
by philiafan14364 on Dec 30, 2009 12:12 PM EST reply actions
not creative, but sincere
Headline I most want to see: Phils win second title in three years
by dajafi on Dec 30, 2009 12:27 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
yessss
Headline I Want to See – LIGHTS OUT LIDGE RETURNS!
1. Cole Hamels again battles injuries, bad luck, himself.
2. Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay of World Champion Phillies finish 1, 2 in Cy Young Balloting.
3. Still struggling, Brad Lidge removed from closer role after three straight blown saves, six on season (mid-May headline)
4. In a strange turn of events, Mets fans aren’t whiny douche bags.
excellent idea David.
Here are mine, most sort of envisioned to run in the New York Times:
Fear: As World Series begins, Seattle’s Lee relishes chance at revenge
Want: Dallas Green involved in bizarre love triangle with former Phils pitcher and his wife, police now say
Most Expect: As injuries nag Ibanez, Phillies turn to young star
Least Expect: At 49, Phillies’ Moyer is pitching better than ever
Fearful: Hamels, Happ, Blanton and Moyer cant get it done behind spectacular Halladay
Most Wanted: Rollins Bat leads Phillies to 1st in NL East.
Most Expect: Another up and down year for Moyer.
Least Expect: [Bruntlett Nats probably has to be the absolute least probable event to happen next year, so I will go for number 2 here ;) ]
Utley’s struggles on the field and with the bat are troubling for the Phils
Fear: Torn labrum in right shoulder fells Roy Halladay
Want: Mad Men Actress Christina Hendricks admits to unquenchable lust for Phillies’ Blogger “WholeCamels”.
Most Expect: Cole Hamels returns to 2008 form
Least Expect: Brad Lidge removed from closer role
http://www.thegoodphight.com
1. Chase Utley breaks wrist on hit by pitch in the NLDS.
2. Roy Halladay and Cole Hamels make the deadliest 1-2 punch in baseball.
3. Roy Halladay leads the Phils to there 4th consecutive NL East title.
4. Behind Stephen Strasburg, the Washington Nationals make the playoffs as the NL Wild Card.
Unless Strasburg is so good he can consistently pitch on 1 day rest and he goes 82-10, I don’t see #4 happening this year.
I know, thats why it is the surprise one.
by phillyphan9208 on Dec 30, 2009 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
wasn’t L’Dol a character from Dune?
http://www.thegoodphight.com
by WholeCamels on Dec 30, 2009 5:21 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Fear: Cole Hamels puts up similiar numbers as of 2009.
Want: Roy Halladay to win 20 games and have 15 shutouts, Placido Polanco bats .300 with 200 hits.
Most Expect: Roy Halladay is our ace.
Least Expect: Howard doesn’t hit 40 homers and have less than 100 rbi’s.
Headline I’m most fearful of seeing in 2010: Roy Halladay out for season with an early injury in the season.
Headline I most want to see in 2010: Brad Lidge returns to greatness
Headline I most expect to see in 2010:Phils stumble out of the gates again, but win yet another NL East title and a National League title
Headline I least expect to see in 2010: Jamie Moyer leading the team in wins and having the lowest E.R.A on the team
This is why we can't have nice things
Fearful – Rollins dropped from leadoff spot as he struggles to stay above Mendoza line
Want – Prospect swap in Halladay deal turns out to be landslide for Phils
Expected – Halladay only Phils starter to crack 15 wins
Unexpected – NL wins All-Star game behind walkoff from reserve Utley, lone Phils representative
Fearful – Roy Halladay out for season due to freak spring training accident
Want – Hamels and Halladay lead Phils to best record in MLB
Expected – Rollins off to a slow start again, picks it up mid/late season
Unexpected – Nats and Pirates make for the best World Series in decades, will go down in history. Eric Bruntlett cures cancer after amazing double play to save Nats in the 9th in game 7.
Scar tissue is stronger than muscle tissue. Realize the strength, move on.
an all national league WS. could be a classic.
Chase Utley is so good that on one pitch he stole second, third and the shortstop's hat.
Fearful (but possible with Amaro): Phillies flip Werth, Brown, May for Corey Hart: Amaro cites Hart’s willingness to sign below market long-term deal
Subheadline: Outfielder praised as “big RBI man” and “great clubhouse presence”
"You grip it like this, and then throw the s**t out of it."
-Steve Carlton, on his slider
by ThinMountainAir on Dec 31, 2009 10:04 AM EST up reply actions
Headlines
1. Fear: Cole Hamels stays with Heidi, refuses to consummate long-time bromance with RememberThePhitans.
2. Want: Bill Conlin eats Reuben Amaro (“He smelt of sauerkraut and, boy, was he ever gritty!”)
3. Likely: Reuben Amaro builds a secret base in a volcano on a tropical island, from which he will launch revenge attacks on a world that just doesn’t understand his genius.
4. Unlikely Alt1: More than 4 non-white people not named Rollins, Howard, Ruiz, and Polanco attend any one Phillies home game.
4. Unlikely Alt2: WIP fires Howard Eskin and replaces him with a broadcast duo of jemagee and FuquaManuel.
4. Unlikely Alt3: Jason Werth stops pulling tubes.
Remember the Phitans
by RememberthePhitans on Dec 31, 2009 10:17 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I would pay good money to listen to jem and FM do a show on WIP if they were to get rid of gasbag and d’bag Eskin.
by WanderingMoses on Dec 31, 2009 10:22 AM EST up reply actions
I agree
It would be full of…edginess…which would appeal to your typical WIP listener, but it would also be about million times more intelligent.
Remember the Phitans
by RememberthePhitans on Dec 31, 2009 10:30 AM EST up reply actions
but would the “yer a dope” quotient be any lower?
by Wet Luzinski on Dec 31, 2009 4:20 PM EST up reply actions
More than 4 non-white people not named Rollins, Howard, Ruiz, and Polanco attend any one Phillies home game.
Come on now. The category was “least expect,” not “impossible.”
by David S. Cohen on Dec 31, 2009 10:48 AM EST up reply actions
Number one is impossible
I got season tickets and I bring the number to 5!
"Want a donut go to dunkin donuts, want a linebacker go to Penn State."
- Cris Carter, NFL Draft, 4/25/09
twitter: @princessblueezy
I mean Unlikely Alt #1
"Want a donut go to dunkin donuts, want a linebacker go to Penn State."
- Cris Carter, NFL Draft, 4/25/09
twitter: @princessblueezy
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