Yankees Fans: A Phillies Fan's Primer

by WholeCamels on May 22, 2009 1:00 PM EDT

Despite their mutual co-existence for well over a century, the paths of the Phillies and Yankees have rarely crossed, with the exception of the 1950 World Series, and a few Interleague series here and there.

But, for the first time since 1950, the Phillies are playing the Yankees, and both teams are good. Fancy that.

Disclaimer: Many of my friends are Yankees fans. They are good people and love their team. This is meant to be in good fun. I also married a Yankees fan. But over the 10 years of our relationship, I have molded her into a Phillies fan. My methods were stringent but merciful (see photo for inspiration). I take much pride in this, perhaps my greatest accomplishment.

via blog.afi.com

Today, I live in close to the heart of Yankees territory -- northern New Jersey. As a service to our readership, here's a quick guide to the mind of the Yankees fan:

1. They don't believe in the letter "s", or pluralization in general.

Is there another fanbase that refers to their favorite team in the singular? "I'm a Yankee fan." What? Which Yankee? "I'm going to the Yankee game." Why are you dropping the letter?

Does anyone say "I'm a Twin fan" or "I'm a Cardinal fan"?

Oh wait, I do hear "I'm a Met fan" quite a bit. It's probably a New York thing.

2. They don't hate you. No. It's worse. They don't care or know anything about you.

At the risk of overgeneralization, and there are exceptions, Yankees fans tend to be among the least educated fans in sports, only aware of their own players and players on the Red Sox (and possibly Roy Halladay) -- except when they want YOUR players, then they call WFAN and propose trades like Melky Cabrera and Phil Coke for Cole Hamels. They didn't know who Mark Teixeira was until the day he signed. And when you try to discuss other teams with them, they look at you like you're wasting their time. Yet there's a sense of Yankees Exceptionalism wherein they expect you to know everything in the world about Joba Chamberlain and Robinson Cano, and this idea that their roster dreck is somehow superior to anyone else's.

Occasionally you meet one who plays fantasy baseball, and he'll ask you if Jimmy Rollins stole any bases last night, but that's it.

Many Yankees fans are not baseball fans. They're Yankees fans, period.

3. They believe in magic.

They perceive a mystical, inherently superior quality to their team and their players, ignoring the vast resources they've had over the years, the way they've raped other franchises for talent, etc. Forget the fact that they're able to pay above slot in the draft, outbid everyone for the top free agents, and commit millions upon millions to the Caribbean and Pacific Rim... No. It's the Magic of the Pinstripes. Barf.

I hope the Ghost of Mickey Mantle is drunkenly violating the Ghost of Babe Ruth's Wife out in Monument Park, while the Ghost of Babe Ruth is at a clinic getting shots for the Ghost Syphilis he got from a Ghost Whore.

4. There is no joy.

They go into every season expecting to win the World Series. When they don't, they're devastated. When they do, they're merely satisfied.

Where Mets fans react to failure with anger (Minaya! Wilpon!), Yankees fans are merely confused and sad -- how did this happen? We're supposed to win every year. This is our birthright. There's something wrong.

5. They really really really really really really really like Derek Jeter. A lot. Really.

And this is their weakness. Talk about his poor defense. Call him Pasta-Diving Jeter. Imply that he's a Megan's Law registrant.

6. But they've changed.

The past five years have seen a sea change in the temperament of Yankees fans and Red Sox fans. It's as if they've swapped mindsets and outlooks. The Yankees fans are now neurotic and pessimistic, while Red Sox fans have become arrogant and betray a sense of entitlement (I got that from somewhere, I wish I could remember where...). Losing (or more accurately, failure to win the World Series) has made Yankees fans generally much more tolerable. If they win another World Series soon, however, all bets are off.

This concludes this presentation from The Good Phight's Institute for Higher Learning. Have a good weekend.

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Comments

I will tell you this one thing ..

I think right now, both of these teams are on rolls and this series will be great, you guys have won what your last 5 .. we have won 9 straight, this series should be great. Sunday will be the perfect way to end it too, I say the yanks take 2 out of 3 but BARELY …

by I Bleed Pinstripes on May 22, 2009 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

Sunday is Hamels vs CC !!

by I Bleed Pinstripes on May 22, 2009 1:16 PM EDT up reply actions

Nope

We haven’t won our last 5. We lost Wed with Grand Pappy on the mound vs. Harang. But we have won 6 of our last 7. Four were vs. the Nats, but I would argue the O’s are pretty bad, too. At least the Nats have offense.

I’m prepared for the worst—Phils have a horrible history when it comes to IL play—and hoping for the best—maybe Phils have turned the corner with WS win (only IL play that really matters—well, that and the stupid ASG—thanks a pantload, Selig).

I will say this: regardless of outcome, I hate IL play. It’s total BS.

by doubleh on May 22, 2009 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions

I find it really hard to care about fans of other teams (well, maybe excepting Mets fans). If I lived in enemy territory I might feel differently.

by phatj on May 22, 2009 1:17 PM EDT reply actions

I generally don’t either. I just thought this would be fun.

One credit to Yankees fans: They don’t really give two turds what you think of them. That “team to beat” nonsense would never have escalated had they been involved.

http://www.thegoodphight.com

by WholeCamels on May 22, 2009 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions

Are you kidding? Do you even see the ‘war’ that goes on between red sox and yankees fans?

"Someone created the box score," Morey says, "and he should be shot."

Blocked shots — they look great, but unless you secure the ball afterward, you haven’t helped your team all that much.

by jemagee on May 22, 2009 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions

a Yankees' fan's reply

1. I tell people “I’m a Yankees fan”, but I have heard others use Yankee without the ‘s’. never thought about it before, I suppose…
2. I’m not sure if I agree with you on number two. I follow other teams pretty well: AL and NL. I must admit that I play fantasy sports, and I love fantasy baseball, becuz it does allow me to keep up with how individual guys are doing on different teams. I have fave players not on the Yanks, with Victorino being one of many I enjoy watching and following. so I do follow other teams, and will even watch Sunday Night Baseball if my Bronx Bombers are not playing, just cuz I love the game of baseball!
3. I’m not sure you should fault us for using our vast resources and big market to our advantage. I agree that it might not be fair to other teams, especially low-market teams. but then MLB should put a salary cap or do something about it! it’s not the Yanks fault if they use what they have legally and to field the best players. of course, getting the “best” players does not guarantee fieilding the best teams, as the last few years have shown. but I think we’re doing better with that… PS – I was very grossed out by your last phrase on point number three. even in poking fun, that wasn’t very mature. but hey, it’s ur post, I suppose…
4. I have to say that there IS joy, even when we don’t win the WS. every year (at least speaking for myself) I enjoy following the team, even when we don’t make the playoffs, like last year. of course we feel like it’s a failure if we don’t win it all, becuz we do have the highest payroll. so we should be making deep runs into the postseason. but it’s not like we feel entitled “just becuz”…
5. this one is definitely true, though at least for myself, I can say I am objective and understand he is really slowing down and getting old. I still love him to death, but I do understand there is a winding down for everyone. I still think he’s a smart hitter and his fielding is not too bad, though he’s lost some range. but he has meant a lot to this team over the years…
6. thank you for putting this in here! I couldn’t agree more with how the Yankees fans and Red Sox fans have seemed to switch mind-sets. I can honestly say that I am a Yankees fan and I respect the Red Sox as a really good team. but their fans are definitely getting that annoying arrogance aroma about them. talk about band-wagon fans: so many think that’s all Yankees fans are, but really, there are more and more BoSox fans hitching a ride recently…

Interesting thoughts, for sure! Hope it’s a good series :)

by Frankie_JHawk on May 22, 2009 3:01 PM EDT reply actions

good response

But I have to add that as much as the Yankees and Red Sox, teams and fanbases both, detest each other, to the rest of us (and I’m a Phillies fan who lives in Brooklyn, so it’s not like I’m inured from it) you’re almost interchangeable as far as arrogance, bandwagon appeal, and sense of entitlement.

It’s tipped a little in recent years, in that the Red Sox fans are no longer self-pitying—something that, to be honest, we as Phils fans hopefully will start getting away from now that the team is pretty good—but you’re both basically Evil Empires.

by dajafi on May 22, 2009 3:31 PM EDT up reply actions

I salute you on your great accomplishment, It did not escape my notice. The techniques may be harsh, but really—you can’t argue with the results.

Excellent field guide. Quite a bit in common with fans of my alma mater (Notre Dame)—though I am so much more a Phillies fan that I really only come to enjoy rooting for the Irish when they are underdogs (which football wise has been a lot recently). But points 2, 3 and 4 are pretty much spot-on.

by Wet Luzinski on May 22, 2009 5:46 PM EDT reply actions

Jayson Stark Chat Excerpt

Doug: I’m a Yankees fan and I want Mauer, now. We know the Twins can’t pay him so why doesn’t Cashman call the Twins GM and say “I’ll give you 60 cents on the dollar for Mauer now. Make me wait a year, it’ll be 50 cents.” Obviously, he says it nicer than that.

SportsNation Jayson Stark: I need to respond to this, because I get posts like this every single week. I’m always amazed by how Yankees fans think they can just grab any great player on any team out there, based solely on the theory is that all great players should play in New York, and of course the Yankees can afford any old star they lust after. First off, the Twins are interested in winning, too. And Joe Mauer is their best, and most popular, player. Just as important, he’s a Minnesota kid. He’s allowed to have other priorities as he mulls his future besides how soon he can hit the lottery in the Bronx. So I understand why every Yankees fan would love to have this guy. But it’s not your natural-born right to just reach out and drop him into your shopping cart. Sorry.

"Someone created the box score," Morey says, "and he should be shot."

Blocked shots — they look great, but unless you secure the ball afterward, you haven’t helped your team all that much.

by jemagee on May 22, 2009 7:37 PM EDT reply actions