May 9-15, The Fish's Next Review


Fish here.

I play a game to pass some of the time.  I have found it to be pretty fun to play as the average baseball fan, its called MLB Manager Online (  plug!).  Named my team the Mobile Baysharks after a minor league team which used to exist in southern Alabama which I spent the good part of ten plus years of my life.  Anyway, I had finally managed to recreate the Four Aces as my starting rotation + Joe Blanton as well as the entire  batting order + Kung-Fu Panda as the DH.  So naturally I'm expecting nothing but W's.  Anyway my point is, in a week such as this, I expect 6-0, 5-1, hell even 4-2.  Not 3-3.  Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

This week was especially trying for me.  As I said last week, I'm married to a Braves fan.  Last week, I had to endure two days of taunting out of three.  I was especially hoping I'd get to avoid it again this week.  Sad to say, I was WRONG WRONG WRONG.  Another two days of that ANNOYING CHANT.  And then the wife brags.  Oh sure I can quote stats, sabremetrics, any of the technical crap but it goes WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH straight over her head!!!  Who cares, the Braves won!!  So the image below basically sums my feelings of my wife's Braves feelings up after these past two games.



The Bank remained quiet this week.  The Phils were on the road the entire week.

MONDAY-  Our adventure starts out in south Florida where I'm sure the Penn State high school baseball games get more attendance than filling up that cathedral.  Joe Robbie Stadium, Landshark Stadium, Empty Landshark Bottle Stadium is more like it.  Football stadiums make terrible baseball stadiums.  (step off the soapbox)

I have a soft spot for Joe.  I always hope he does well cause as SI put it, hes the Sidekick.  And I want the Sidekick to do well.  So I was especially pleased.  And now I want you all to meet someone who was there in force Monday.

Meet Lizzy the GIDP Fairy!  She comes and goes as she pleases, but she especially wanted to chill out in South Beach and get a tan.  So Joe Blanton, send a thank you card to Lizzy the GIDP Fairy!!!



Lizzy Beats the Marlins 6-4

TUESDAY- Now THIS was a pitching duel.  Josh Johnson vs Roy Halladay.  What a great matchup on paper.  And the last time they pitched against each other, I was scouring the Internet trying to buy cheap-ass bleacher seats as a souvenir!!  Unfortunately, it wasn't the same game (Shame on you Doc, walking the PITCHER?!?). 

Stupid Greys doctor was pitching instead of Dr. House. Marlins 2-1  Grey's Anatomy sucks is what I'm getting at.

WEDNESDAY- CLlFFMAN!! THE CLIFFMEISTER!! THE CLIFFDAWG!!!! (Copy Machine Dude anyone) Cliff Lee had a good game.  After His Royal Cliffness left the game after a good performance, offenses really began to start to ROLL.   The JRoll delivered the game in the top of the ninth and made Madson get off his lazy ass to get the save.  Honestly, that Ryan Madson guy will only pitch when the Phils are winning WTF IS UP WITH THAT!?!?   TRADE HIM! :P :)

JRolling the Marlins off the Cliff, 5-3HA

THURSDAY- Off day.  Hollaaaaaaa guess who pre-ordered LA Noire for PS3??  This guy! (Insert Ken Jeuong)

FRIDAY- Back in the ATL for more Braves shenanigans.  My homeboy Cole Hamels was on the mound, and this was a damn good game to watch.  I only wish Cole got the W, nothin against Bastardo of course.  And I'm going to start a petition for Lance Vance Dance to start wearing Major League Charlie Sheen glasses.

What a Game. Phillies 5-4

SATURDAY- What a stark contrast to last night.  Let me take the time out to say this.  *ahem* I GREATLY DISLIKE JAIR JURRJENS. LIKE IMMENSE GREAT DISLIKE. (I say great dislike too cause I already hate the Braves as a team)  Thank you.  Homeboy had a fuckin perfecto going, then I did a dance after that shit was gone.  If he got the perfect game.....I would never live down the taunting of my Braves-loving wife....never.   I honestly wouldn't know how to counter it.  Then, I decided to go to extreme measures and take things into my own hands.  Using my military connections, I abducted the REAL Kyle Kendrick, clocked his ass out, took his uniform, did secret military things and VOILA!  I was Kyle Kendrick.  Unfortunately that operation backfired as I am a terrible pitcher.

I really really really really really really really really really really hate that stupid chant, 5-3. Ludacris bribed the Phils into losing with backstage passes.

SUNDAY- The Doctor had to redeem himself.  He can't have two losses in a row. Right guys?...............................................................Right?  WTF WHO LET THE CRICKETS IN THE HOUSE.  I also have no respect for Dan Ugglyass.  None.  All I think of is the millions of errors he commited in the All-Star Game.  When he was a Marlin it was like 3.  When he joined the Braves, it became literally millions of errors because you obviously made millions of errors just to wear that atrocity to the eyes.

Someone tell my wife to STFU PLEASE.  Tell her to look at the STANDINGS! Braves Win, 3-2

So there you guys have it, the week in review.  Now we got two games in Cardinals territory, then a good homestand vs the Rockies and (I'm excited for this) the Rangers.  Its too bad Josh Hamilton will still be out, would've loved to see the good Doc strike his ass out.  It'll be a good week this week.  Too bad the Mets and Yankees can't spontaneously combust this weekend from being on the field at the same time.


SLUGGING PERCENTAGE- (abbreviated SLG) is a popular measure of the power of a hitter.



TB -Total Bases

AB- At Bats




SONG OF THE DAY- The Worst Day Since Yesterday- Flogging Molly

Thor = Much Better than Expected.  Can't wait for Captain America

Red Dragons, Peace out to you all till next week!

The Fish

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