An open letter from Charlie Manuel

So, like, a lot of people been asking me questions and stuff, bout our guys,so, like, I kinda thought, like, insteada answering a buncha beat writers, like, I'd just write a letter and stuff. Kinda like to tell you like, what the hell is going on with our guys, and like, how they ain't being sissys, ya know....

So like, Kendrick is starting tonight, and like, I hope he can go 5, and like throw strikes, keep it in the park, not walk anybody, like, keep em from getting hits and stuff. hopefully our bats'll show up too. If they don't, like we might not win, and Atlanta, they got a good ballclub. But its a long season. Like, 162 games, and like, you gotta do what you gotta do to win, ya know?

Like, Oswalt, he's like a little tight, so we DL'd him. I hope he's back soon, but like, ya never know. Cause like, he's got a bad back and all, and like, that's not good. I don't know why it's still tight, I ain't no doctor, I manage ball games, ya know? Dubee wants to be cautious, Reuben wants to be cautious, Oswalt says he can't go again, that's that, ya know?

So like, Worley,he did a good job, got outs, threw strikes, we won, ya know, so like, He's still on the team and stuff. He ain't no sissy, that's fer sure.

Blanton, he's probably gonna come up Monday. Gonna start monday. He, ain't no sissy either, but hes gotta throw strikes, and like, not give up hits and runs, you know? So like, we'll see bout that.

Polly, he like hit his toe with a foul ball, so like, he's a little sore, but like, he can still hit, so, he's a hitter, ya know, and he can field some too. They run some tests, and like, it come back negative, which is good negative, not bad negative, so like, he ain't no sissy neither.

Chooch ain't no sissy, but like, he can hardly walk and like, we don't really wanna DL him, cause like, Sardhina, Schneider, like, they like, they can get the job done, but they ain't Chooch, you know? so like, Chooch, we gotta figure out if he can like go or not, but he definitely ain't no sissy neither. If he can't walk so good, he'll go on the Dl, but Chooch, he'd play with a limp if they'd let him, and so would I but, like, I ain't no doctor, but still, like, I'm optimistic and stuff.

Utley sure as hell ain't no sissy, and he's gonna go down today get some AB's hit some live pitching, like, see what happens from there, cause its a long season, like 162 games and all, but we need him back soon, cause like, he gets hits, and he can hit good, so we need his hits, like, yesterday. So like, I think he's ready to go, but like, i still ain't no doctor, so like, we gotta be careful, too, cause like, its a long season, 162 games, but still, like, Valdez, Orr, ..... they ain't Utley, and I think they know that, I sure as hell do, and like, they need to hit and get hits.

I-Banez, he like come outa his whatever, and I was never really worried, and like, he can hit, so he hit two dingers, and like, hes gonna hit so, no, I ain't gonna platoon no one, Mayberry, he's still gonna get some spots, but he's gotta prove he belongs, cause, like, Brown, ya know? Brown like can really hit, but like, he's down at AAA, and like, he'll be ready when he's ready, cause like, its a long season, like 162 games, and I ain't got no control over that. But he'll be ready. Someday. For sure.

Contreras, if he is a sissy, I sure as hell aint gonna tell him, cause he's a big boy, ya know? but like, he's progressing, and like, he'll be back some day, and like, he'll throw strikes and stuff, and meantime, Stutes, like, he's throwing strikes and doing a damn good job, and like, Herndon, he's back down at Lehigh and he's gotta work on some stuff, but like, if he can throw strikes, he'll be fine, and stuff.

Thats about it. I think. Hold on, I gotta count my guys in my head for like, a second, cause like, it ain't that easy keeping track of all these hurt bodies.  

Oh yeah. Lidge. I just about dadgum forgot about him, cause, like, It's almost like I don't realize he's gone, and all...  Yeah, he's a BIG OLE SISSY!  Reads books and stuff, and is into all kinds of sissy things. but like, he's hurt pretty bad, but it coulda been worse, but like, we wont know nuthin till he starts throwing more and stuff. Whether like, he'll have good stuff, or like not have good stuff, like velocity, he needs that, and like, movement, too, but like, ya never know with that stuff, ya know? but like, he don't worry me so much anyway, so like, I almost forgot about him, cause like, I'm not thinking about him, I'm thinking about winning ballgames and getting hits, ya know?

Thats all I got to say about that.  If ya'll can excuse me I like, got a ballgame to win.

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