FanPost

Hunton

Ok, this is the last of my "Pence is the GOAT" jokes.  

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Hunton
Looking so down in the dumps
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Hunton
Even when taking your slumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Hunton
No one's quick as Hunton
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Hunton's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Chase, Vic or Cliff lee
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one's been like Hunton

A king pin like Hunton
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Hunton 

As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

My what a guy, that Hunton!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"
Hunton is the best
And the rest is all drips
No one fights like Hunton
Douses lights like Hunton
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Hunton!
For there's no one as burly and brawny
As you see I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
No one hits like Hunton
Matches wits like Hunton
In a spitting match nobody spits like Hunton
I'm espcially good at expectorating!
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a guy, that Hunton!
No one shoots like Hunton
Makes those beauts like Hunton
Then goes tromping around wearing cleats like Hunton 
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
My what a guy,
Hunton!

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