Rubén Amaro, Jr.: Gentlemen. Thank you for meeting me here.

Scott Proefrock: Uh, it's our morning meeting. We have these every day.

Rubén Amaro, Jr.: You might be wondering why I've called you here.

Chuck LaMar: Not really.

Rubén Amaro, Jr.: The trade deadline is fast approaching. I've been kicking around a lot of ideas, but I've worked out a deal to send Vance Worley, Domonic Brown, Jonathan Singleton, and Jerred Cosart to the Rockies for Ubaldo Jimenez.

Benny Looper: Good god, why?

Rubén Amaro, Jr.: Because **** the rest of the National League. That's why.

Scott Proefrock: Oh, man. He's having one of those waking dreams again.

Rubén Amaro, Jr.: All I have to do is pick up this phone and tell the Rockies that it's official, and ... it's official. Ha. Ha ha ha. HAHAHAHA.

Benny Looper: Grab his arms!