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Around SBN: The Most Dangerous Division in Sports

My Roy-Friend's Back: Phillies 5, Nationals 0

Socks it to me, baby.  (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)

Everyone can rest easy: the Phillies will not have a losing record in 2011.

The team claimed its 81st victory of the season against a frequent foil, Nationals starter John Lannan, who fell to 1-12 against the Phils for his career. The bigger deal by far, though, was the winning pitcher: Roy Oswalt, the Forgotten Ace. In his third start since returning from the disabled list, Li'l Roy broke out the 2010-vintage Good Stuff: eight innings, eight hits (seven singles), one walk, and a season-high nine strikeouts, all on an efficient 115 pitches. Li'l Roy might have been at his nastiest in the eighth inning, popping the gun at 93 as he registered his final two strikeouts.

The Phils got all the offense they needed in the fourth inning, scoring two unearned runs. John Mayberry, Jr., starting again in place of Raul Ibanez, singled with two outs but seemed to be caught off first base. Shortstop Ian Desmond couldn't handle the throw to second, however, and the inning continued. Carlos Ruiz drew a walk, and Wilson Valdez continued his shockingly strong hitting when up with runners in scoring position by depositing a two-run triple into right field. 

Hunter Pence stretched the lead to 3-0 with a solo homer off Lannan to lead off the sixth, his third since joining the Phillies. Jimmy Rollins knocked in the team's final two runs with a single off reliever Colin Balestar. Oswalt did the rest, backed up by a 1-2-3 frame from Michael Stutes in the ninth. 

Big Roy tomorrow against Chien-Ming Wang for the series win. Cue Fangraph: 

20110820_phillies_nationals_0_20110820212230_live_medium

via www.fangraphs.com

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 missin’ bats. + high cheese. = bulldozer

by j reed on Aug 20, 2011 10:37 PM EDT reply actions  

Roy Oswalt + bulldozer = Badass WWE-style entrance for his next start.

Welcome to the City of Brotherly Love, now GTFO

by Veni Vidi Vici on Aug 20, 2011 10:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

He thinks he’s cute, he know’s he’s sexy. He’s got the looks, that drive the girls wild……

Formerly... "You don't have to be sweet, to be good"

by Ed Van Chimp on Aug 20, 2011 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

He's a sexy boy

He’s not your girl toy.

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 6:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

I’m pretty sure that was Matt Rizzotti’s walk up music at a game I was at. He must’ve lost a bet.

Let's go eat...a triceratops. /velociraptor'd

by LeepinLizardz on Aug 21, 2011 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

or

1 Komatsu D355A bulldozer + 1 Lincoln Electric Idealarc® R3R-500 DC, 3-Phase Stick Welder + shit ton of 1" thick plate steel and assorted scrap metal + a fuckload of welding rods + oxy-acetylene and plasma cutting torches + a lengthy zoning dispute + a dream deferred + a drained savings account + an exvaggerated sense of purpose + a smörgåsbord of “warning signs” + 1 vat of “hotel bathtub” Ritalin + Stan Bush’s “The Touch” on a loop =
One fucked small town in Colorado

by j reed on Aug 21, 2011 2:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

Killdozer FTW.

I love that they tried to use a Ferguson to block the dozer.

by Phrozen on Aug 21, 2011 2:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

The most amazing thing is, with Optimus Prime’s hero music over top of it, I totally went from “fuck this idiot” to “Go, Marv! Lay off him, fuzz!”

by Chutley's Impressed by Mac's Speed on Aug 21, 2011 6:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

Wow, how did I not hear about this before? That’s pretty awesome.

by phatj on Aug 21, 2011 9:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

Love it!

"Valdez can pitch, Lee can hit... and pigs can fly."

by dannijd on Aug 20, 2011 11:53 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

All the Phils on Twitter seem to have had the time of their life tonight. It must’ve been such a rush playing for a crowd like that.

by esentman on Aug 20, 2011 11:19 PM EDT reply actions  

From Jimmy Rollins FB feed:

What an atmosphere tonight! Phils fans brought the NOISE!!!! Loving it

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Aug 20, 2011 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

for the right $ the Nats probably would

Todd Zolecki:

So many Phillies fans here I’m expecting to see Harry Kalas on the scoreboard singing High Hopes. Phils win, 5-0.

by lpfist on Aug 21, 2011 10:58 AM EDT up reply actions  

What happened to Mayberry and how do we keep it this way

Never let me slip, 'cause if I slip, then I'm slippin'
But if I got my Nina, then you know I'm straight trippin'

by Daniel Solomon on Aug 20, 2011 11:27 PM EDT reply actions  

send Ibanez to the glue factory?

by Governator on Aug 20, 2011 11:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

No.

They KEY is to give Mayberry as many starts as possible to guarantee that Ibanez only gets about 50 more plate appearances in the next 33 games.

That way, we extend the COLD streak through to around the end of September, with about 7 games left till the playoffs, and assure ourselves of getting HOT RAUL through the WS, should we be so lucky as to get there.

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 11:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

I was remiss in not mentioning his superb throw to nail Zimmerman at the plate. Another really strong game from JBerry.

by dajafi on Aug 20, 2011 11:50 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

Definitely. I know he is not the left fielder the organization had in mind for next year (and that the sample size is small), but he is sure making a good argument for the job.

"Valdez can pitch, Lee can hit... and pigs can fly."

by dannijd on Aug 20, 2011 11:55 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

If Mayberry is the 4th outfielder next season, I will be satisfied.

Writer at SB Nation's Philadelphia Union blog, The Brotherly Game. Follow me on Twitter.

by Justin F. on Aug 21, 2011 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

He should be the left fielder at the moment. For as long as possible.

It's in his wheelhouse!!
Carlos Ruiz, My Nickname is Chooch.

by Dr. Steve on Aug 21, 2011 1:49 AM EDT up reply actions  

I said this in the game thread and I’ll say it again here. The absolute WORST situation for Dom Brown is if Mayberry ends the season as the starting LF.

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 6:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

last 10: .129/.333/.129

oh, icksicles.

by Wet Luzinski on Aug 21, 2011 11:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

Is that Ibanez or Brown at Lehigh?

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 11:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

Magic Numbers

For Playoffs: 22

For Division/Home Field Advantage: 30

For Best Record in Baseball: 39

Welcome to the City of Brotherly Love, now GTFO

by Veni Vidi Vici on Aug 20, 2011 11:43 PM EDT reply actions  

If there was a tv show show called " Lil’ Roy and friends", I’d watch it

by Phillinois on Aug 21, 2011 12:03 AM EDT via mobile reply actions  

Or more appropriately, make my children watch it

by Phillinois on Aug 21, 2011 12:03 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

The shutout was the Phils’ 16th in 124 games. That’s one every 7.75. Freakin crazy.

by dajafi on Aug 21, 2011 12:12 AM EDT via mobile reply actions   1 recs

and yet on pace for fewer than last year’s 21

by yolacrary on Aug 21, 2011 6:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

Just think about what it could be, they have like 3 or 4 I believe where they gave up a run or two in the 9th and otherwise would have had a shutout. I love pitching.

Ed Snider is a crotchety old fuck.

That is all.

by EREX21 on Aug 21, 2011 8:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

yeah, and several of those are bullpen garbage runs

by yolacrary on Aug 21, 2011 8:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

HAHAHA, Awwww....

from federalbaseball:

“So what did Charlie Manuel say when he went out to the mound?
"You buying the beers tonight?"

by heartpursuer on Aug 20, 2011 9:39 PM
 
Charlie: “Don’t give up a HR, you know how small this park is.”
Utley: “We’re in DC, Charlie.”

Charlie: “Really?”


by Patrick Reddington on Aug 20, 2011 9:42 PM

by Chutley's Impressed by Mac's Speed on Aug 21, 2011 12:13 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, I caught that, and laughed a bit.

by RaptorLC on Aug 21, 2011 12:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

Got goosebumps...

Hi all! A fan here from the Philippines..saw the game live from ESPN and I was amazed at the packed ballpark I thought the game was played in CBP. When Charlie approached Oswalt …I thought oh no..no.no don’t let Oswalt go..let him finished the game..I missed him…I wonder how Werth felt..booed in his own home park yaikks…Hats off to Phillies fans..you are all amazingly wonderful…

by Lele on Aug 21, 2011 12:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

I watched the game on MASN

Nats set a ballpark record for highest attendance last night.

Never call a Phillies, Eagles, Flyers or Sixers fans, a band-wagoner. It is disrespectful. We have suffered agony through the years. Philadelphians should be jovial for their teams' success.

by chillyphilly on Aug 21, 2011 12:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

I am trying to figure out who the fourth guy is with the hat. Is that worley? It does not look like him.

by PhilsForever on Aug 21, 2011 1:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

yes…couldn’t find a pic that would work with glasses

30 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Aug 21, 2011 1:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hamels looks like George Clooney.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Aug 21, 2011 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

circa Facts of Life

by j reed on Aug 21, 2011 2:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

At least I’m not the only one here who remembers when he was on that show. lol.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Aug 21, 2011 4:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

I preferred his performance in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

by Chutley's Impressed by Mac's Speed on Aug 21, 2011 5:56 AM EDT up reply actions  

bravo.

The Lil Roy-fro is so damn natural. He looks like the generic high school substitute teacher you remember by the glint of perv in his eye.

by j reed on Aug 21, 2011 2:51 AM EDT up reply actions  

That.IS.AWESOME.

Which one is that on the bottom right?

by Freddyd on Aug 21, 2011 2:52 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

Vance Worley

Writer at SB Nation's Philadelphia Union blog, The Brotherly Game. Follow me on Twitter.

by Justin F. on Aug 21, 2011 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

That's awesome

Couldn’t tell if it was Worley or Ruiz as horseshack. Hamels as barbarino is perfect, but halladay is more Washington, and Lee is more Epsein, for sure.

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 6:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

agree, but there are only so many smiling pictures of Halladay

30 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Aug 21, 2011 9:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

Shane’s got to be in there somewhere.

by Sisko on Aug 21, 2011 11:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

Think

Bullpennery…

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 11:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

gotcha….may have some time tonight

30 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Aug 21, 2011 11:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

This is great.

"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds." - Wilt Chamberlain

by soman319 on Aug 21, 2011 11:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

fat poop?

30 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Aug 21, 2011 12:35 AM EDT up reply actions  

He has an almost maniacal smile too.

It's only gonna get funner

by VanceinmyPants on Aug 21, 2011 12:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

It could be an inside joke between him and Utley/Rollins about the way that Hunter Pence runs…I keep watching it over and over and can’t make it out

30 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Aug 21, 2011 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

makes sense

It's only gonna get funner

by VanceinmyPants on Aug 21, 2011 12:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

No idea, but that seems plausible.

by Phrozen on Aug 21, 2011 2:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

Purple?

Oswalt seems like a bit of a funny, yet sick joke kinda dude.

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Aug 21, 2011 6:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

I’m horrible is my guess

by j reed on Aug 21, 2011 7:38 AM EDT up reply actions  

Valdez K rate:
bases empty 18.7%
runners on 10.3%

SSS I know, but that is still an impressive difference.

by pretzalz on Aug 21, 2011 12:58 AM EDT reply actions  

Great game to be at.

They announced in the seventh that it was the largest crowd in Nats Park history and my section (107, in left field) was absolutely dominated by the Phillies Phaithful, as it seems were all the other sections.

Oswalt pitched a gem and there were plenty of protesting shouts at Chuckles when he came out to the mound late in the game and a bunch of roars of approval when he allowed Oswalt to stay on the mound.

When Stutes came on, it was only the latest in a long line of reminders that Phillies fans own Nationals Park whenever our team plays there.

As we were leaving, there were a shitload of people singing “High Hopes” and we joined in.

We won’t get into the psycho bitch and her douchebag husband who were taken off one of the buses in our group for attacking two of the drivers and one of the event coordinators because they couldn’t find their chairs. I hope the fun night with the Metro cops was worth it, assholes.

by Sisko on Aug 21, 2011 2:30 AM EDT reply actions  

“High Hopes” at an away game had to be fun. Haha… Maybe I shouldn’t call D.C. an away game anymore? It’s like a home game…

by 92-74-99-96 on Aug 21, 2011 8:05 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

I was in right field.

There were very loud chants for Chooooooch and Stuuuuuutes. There were lots of booooos for Jayson Werth too, which I didn’t agree with and didn’t participate in.

There was a huge tool Nats fan in our section, who wore a huge American flag hat and sequined gloves. He taunted us as best he could, but was soon drowned out by the sheer number of us.

Also, the Nats could use a real mascot. That eagle doesn’t even have wings, just furry gloves. It’s a guy wearing an eagle head and furry gloves. Our AA team has like 267899 mascots who are better than that eagle. Maybe I’m just spoiled by the Phanatic.

Let's go eat...a triceratops. /velociraptor'd

by LeepinLizardz on Aug 21, 2011 9:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I didn’t participate in the booing either. Like I said, I think it’s bush-league.

Speaking of tool Nats fans, there was one of them who nearly knocked an old man with a cane (Phillies fan, of course) over and walked away laughing about it on the way out. My group stopped to make sure he was okay and one of us just, “Those damn Phillies fans just can’t be welcoming to visiting fans… oh, WAIT A MINUTE!”

There were a few very nice Nats fans sitting near us who took the Phan invasion in stride. We were talking to them for a little while and they basically shrugged sheepishly and said, “Hey, we know it always happens. The Phillies earned this.”

by Sisko on Aug 21, 2011 10:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

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