Really: Astros 5, Phillies 2

by dajafi on Sep 13, 2011 10:57 PM EDT

Hunter Pence: now 0-5 in Astros-Phillies games this season. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

Maybe we should appreciate this. The almost universal excellence of the 2011 Phillies has meant precious few opportunities for a fan base long steeped in self-pity and paranoia to vent its fear and loathing... but this week in Houston, where the best team in baseball has dropped two straight not particularly close contests to the worst team in the game, fits the bill. That the Astros have won these two games behind ex-Phillie starting pitchers Brett Myers and J.A. Happ, who came into the series with a combined record of 9-28, is just salt in the wound. After all, it was just two years ago when Myers and Happ were members of a Phillies team en route to its third straight NL East title, the Astros were barely more relevant than they are now, and Houston swept a September series at home.

In all likelihood, the details of tonight's loss are quite inconsequential. Cole Hamels got into and out of trouble in the first inning, allowing one run on back to back doubles by Clint Barmes and J.D. Martinez. He stranded men in scoring position in each of the next two innings, and former Astro Hunter Pence tied the game at 1 with a solo homer off Happ in the fourth. Then the roof fell in: with one out and someone called J.B. Shuck on second, Happ bounced a grounder to the right side that Ryan Howard couldn't field; instead of a man on third and two outs, the Astros had runners on the corners with one gone. Jason Bourgeois singled through the hole on the left side to score Shuck, and Barmes followed with a three-run homer that put Houston up 5-1.

The Phils showed brief signs of life in the following half-inning, as Jimmy Rollins singled with two outs and Happ issued walks to Placido Polanco and Pence. Howard worked the count full, then flied out to the wall in left. That was their last base runner until Carlos Ruiz hit a solo homer in the ninth.

Grim Fangraph below. Remember, though: when this series ends, the Astros are still the Astros, and the Phillies are still the Phillies.

via www.fangraphs.com

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Summary of the game:

My cat’s breath smells like cat food.

Why look'st thou so?' -"With my crossbow
I shot the Albatross."

by RememberthePhitans on Sep 13, 2011 11:03 PM EDT reply actions

So this game sucked. I’m gonna go get a drink.

In other news, I wish to hell I hadn’t traded Ichiro and Chooch for Buster Posey.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:07 PM EDT reply actions

And Suzuki for Boesch has not worked well for me.

Why look'st thou so?' -"With my crossbow
I shot the Albatross."

by RememberthePhitans on Sep 13, 2011 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions

Want a do-over?

What really grinds my balls is that I had an agreed-upon deal to trade Ichiro for Curtis Granderson, but my ingrained Yankeephobia wouldn’t let me pull the trigger.

So essentially, instead of Chooch and Granderson’s seven hundred homeruns, I ha(d)ve Buster Posey’s four.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:12 PM EDT up reply actions

Wow. That would have been a huge deal to get Granderson.

Why look'st thou so?' -"With my crossbow
I shot the Albatross."

by RememberthePhitans on Sep 13, 2011 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions

I forget who it was now, but I’ve been regretting it since May.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Coburn’s Cuddle Buddy. He said, “sure man,” and made the official proposal.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:15 PM EDT up reply actions

that sucks…I’m in the finals this week for the 3rd straight year, but like the Eagles in NFC title games, I have yet to win….fingers crossed

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions

I’m merely trying to finish in the top half. Which, considering I was in last place, double digits behind next to last at the end of July, would be a pretty nice trick.

by Cormican on Sep 14, 2011 10:16 AM EDT up reply actions

0-3 sans Valdez, Houston We Have a Problem, Alien Mitch-o-meter reading: Mac, Wilpoc, & Zeebo

I was tempted to go “Jake the Cat”, but the shoddy defense and Jim Reynolds strike zone prevented that from happening.

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:09 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs

Excellent. Sortof.

Never heard of Jake the Cat. Sounds fun.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions

from the movie, “The Cat from Outer Space”…it’s bad

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:19 PM EDT up reply actions

Non Mitch-o-meter question. But is Q from Star Trek an alien or a God?

We got the 4 aces for baseball, 3CBO in football, and the Russian Walls in hockey. Philly is no longer the blue collar losers, were primetime baby!

Good game, Lets eat

by JpH89 on Sep 13, 2011 11:41 PM EDT up reply actions

he’s a middle infielder

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Charlies favorites

We got the 4 aces for baseball, 3CBO in football, and the Russian Walls in hockey. Philly is no longer the blue collar losers, were primetime baby!

Good game, Lets eat

by JpH89 on Sep 13, 2011 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Somebody needs to make a “Charlies Angles” with Valdez, Martinez, and Gload

We got the 4 aces for baseball, 3CBO in football, and the Russian Walls in hockey. Philly is no longer the blue collar losers, were primetime baby!

Good game, Lets eat

by JpH89 on Sep 13, 2011 11:47 PM EDT up reply actions

I have a Usual Suspects Keyser Valdez coming per request from last week

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions

That’ll be good. What about a Leslie Nielsen one? One one hand could be Mr. Magoo and on the other Dr. Rumack or Lt. Drebin.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:58 PM EDT up reply actions

that screams Charlie and staff to me…Juan Samuel as Nordberg

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 14, 2011 12:02 AM EDT up reply actions

Yes. Awesome. Do it. Can I help?

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 12:06 AM EDT up reply actions

thanks, but I should be good….I just need to find a picture to use…I may pop in the dvd and do a screen grab…we’ll see

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 14, 2011 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions

Ok.

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 12:10 AM EDT up reply actions

and in case you were wondering…I tried to stick with movie aliens minus the plethora of possibilities in star trek and star wars

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah, the only thing I would have changed was the cat. Should have been Orion from MIB.

We got the 4 aces for baseball, 3CBO in football, and the Russian Walls in hockey. Philly is no longer the blue collar losers, were primetime baby!

Good game, Lets eat

by JpH89 on Sep 13, 2011 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions

Personally, I would have put Howard the Duck just above Mac. But thanx anyway for I had a real chuckle after peepin this one! Keep em up!

by KAInPhilly on Sep 14, 2011 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions

thanks

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 14, 2011 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions

Craptastic series!!

Please avoid the sweep tomorrow

by Freddyd on Sep 13, 2011 11:11 PM EDT via mobile reply actions

WIR SINKEN!

by Wet Luzinski on Sep 13, 2011 11:15 PM EDT reply actions

What chance do we have of winning any of the next 17 games?

The Good Phight, NotGraphs, Twitter, fun!

by FuquaManuel on Sep 13, 2011 11:15 PM EDT reply actions

NONE! OMIGOSH! WE"REALLGONNADIEOMG!

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:16 PM EDT up reply actions

.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:16 PM EDT up reply actions

What the??

"Valdez can pitch, Lee can hit... and pigs can fly."

by dannijd on Sep 13, 2011 11:32 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions

What the??

"Valdez can pitch, Lee can hit... and pigs can fly."

by dannijd on Sep 13, 2011 11:32 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions

It’s a truck that fell through an ice road.

And it’s a truck that fell through an ice road.

And I’m a locksmith.

by Phrozen on Sep 13, 2011 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions

Ok….?

"Valdez can pitch, Lee can hit... and pigs can fly."

by dannijd on Sep 14, 2011 1:20 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions

Police Squad

In Color!

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 1:59 AM EDT up reply actions

WOW

Ice TRuckers : The untold stories?!?!

by KAInPhilly on Sep 14, 2011 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions

To borrow the WL classic:

Writer at SB Nation's Philadelphia Union blog, The Brotherly Game. Follow me on Twitter.

by Justin F. on Sep 13, 2011 11:21 PM EDT up reply actions

all depends on Wilson’s hammy

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:21 PM EDT up reply actions

Didn’t the Mets have a big lead with 17 to play? OHNOES! Phold of 2011, here we come!

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 13, 2011 11:24 PM EDT up reply actions

wrong blog…didn’t you mean to post that at TC?

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 13, 2011 11:26 PM EDT up reply actions

This is one of those times that I’m not glad I’m a “one-game-at-a-time” kinda guy. I don’t care that we won 90-whatever games already! WE SHOULD OF WON TODAY!! WHY WE NO KEEP JAY HAPP?

Time is not made of lines. It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.
-Michael J Caboose

by TheOrangeCone on Sep 14, 2011 12:19 AM EDT reply actions

Heh. fansince09 must have had a banner night.

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions

Whatever happened to him?

Time is not made of lines. It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.
-Michael J Caboose

by TheOrangeCone on Sep 14, 2011 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions

Eh? Still going strong, no?

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions

Probably. Can’t remember the last time I saw him around.

Time is not made of lines. It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.
-Michael J Caboose

by TheOrangeCone on Sep 14, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions

Here? Never, as far as I know.

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions

Oh right, he’s a Fightins’ guy, yeah?

Time is not made of lines. It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.
-Michael J Caboose

by TheOrangeCone on Sep 14, 2011 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions

of The Fightins' and fansince09

http://www.thefightins.com/fansince09/open-game-thread-913-should-of-kept-ja-happ/

It's only gonna get funner

by VanceinmyPants on Sep 14, 2011 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions

Oh not of*

It's only gonna get funner

by VanceinmyPants on Sep 14, 2011 10:32 AM EDT up reply actions

He’s been here.

by Cormican on Sep 14, 2011 10:20 AM EDT up reply actions

This was really a tale of two fly balls. The Barmes homer was just barely to the left of the line separating the Crawford Boxes from the field of play. The Howard near-homer was so close to being a grand slam, or at least a two-run double. A few feet this way, a few feet that way, and this is a whole different ballgame. But whatever.

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:23 AM EDT reply actions

And I was like...YEAH WHATEVA!

Time is not made of lines. It is made of circles. That is why clocks are round.
-Michael J Caboose

by TheOrangeCone on Sep 14, 2011 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions

I love that stupid song. Kind of King Missile like.

by Cormican on Sep 14, 2011 10:21 AM EDT up reply actions

Hamels was battling with the HP umpire’s gerrymandered-ass strikezone all night as well. Nothing you can really do about it when the ump is forcing you to put everything over the middle of the plate. Just basically have to pray you don’t get killed on the inevitable hard hit balls.

The Good Phight, NotGraphs, Twitter, fun!

by FuquaManuel on Sep 14, 2011 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions

Gerrymandered? Was he lumping Cole’s pitches in with the Republicans from out in the county so as to dilute their votes?

But yeah, it was pretty bad. I thoroughly enjoyed Franzke struggling to name an umpire whose LA strikezone wasn’t complaining.

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 12:39 AM EDT up reply actions

Oh jeez.

…whose strikezone wasn’t complained about by LA.

One of those nights, I suppose.

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions

Joke killer?

The Good Phight, NotGraphs, Twitter, fun!

by FuquaManuel on Sep 14, 2011 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions

Not intentionally… was trying to play along. Jokeslaughter? Second Degree Jokesault with a Deadly Weapon?

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 1:19 AM EDT up reply actions

Involuntary Jokeslaughter. Suspended sentence.

by phatj on Sep 14, 2011 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions

Thank-you for the best description of that frigging joke of a strike zone I have seen.

"Valdez can pitch, Lee can hit... and pigs can fly."

by dannijd on Sep 14, 2011 1:24 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions

I'm NOT Elbridge Gerry ...

But Elbridge Gerry would approve this message if he could still see.

by phillyinportland on Sep 14, 2011 5:16 AM EDT up reply actions

By the way, that ump sucked. For both sides’ pitchers. It was pretty ridiculous. On the surface it looks like Happ was as wild as he’s been all year, but I think he actually pitched decently. Go to Gameday Classic and check out the pitch locations for his walk of Polanco. Total nonsense.

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:33 AM EDT reply actions

I had completely forgotten about that sweep in ’09 until now. I believe it was a four-gamer and Brad Lidge blew at least one of the games in some colossally painful fashion. And Jason Michaels hurt us in one of the games (maybe the same one).

I have to confess that there’s a small part of me that wouldn’t mind losing tomorrow to cap another sweep this year, just for the poetic symmetry of it, and for the sake of tradition.

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:36 AM EDT reply actions

Only if the ’Stros sign Baez or Romero or whoever to pitch.

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions

lehigh valley wins 5-2, takes 1-0 series lead

Scott Mathieson 5.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, 10 GB, 3 LD, 5 FB (2 pop), W
Joe Savery 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K, 5 GB, 0 LD, 1 pop, H
Phillippe Aumont 1.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K, 2 GB, 0 LD, 0 FB, H
Justin De Fratus 1.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 1 K, 1 GB, 1 LD, 1 FB, SV
Brandon Moss 1 for 4, 3-run HR (third HR of postseason)
Cody Overbeck, 1 for 4, solo HR
Dom Brown 1 for 4
Freddy Galvis 2 for 4
Podsednik 2 for 5
Eric Kratz 2 for 4, 2 2B

by taco pal on Sep 14, 2011 12:48 AM EDT reply actions

Brandon Moss has more HR’s in the postseason than Gload has all year…

Just sayin…

25.8/106 "Winter is coming" -Eddard Stark

by Joecatz on Sep 14, 2011 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions

he’s approaching Utley

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 14, 2011 10:44 AM EDT up reply actions

This is just an orchestrated plan where the Astros trade exclusively with us, breaking even on deals. But because they trade exclusively with us, we spot them wins when we play them. Seems pretty crafty to me

I eat sentimentality for breakfast, but stats stop me dead in my tracks

by CoburnsCuddleBuddy on Sep 14, 2011 7:41 AM EDT reply actions

Right, so, rhetorically, they can compete with the best team in the National League. Unfortunately, the second best team whips them to a 12-3 tune.

by Wet Luzinski on Sep 14, 2011 8:01 AM EDT up reply actions

fine, Mr. Serious. Perhaps after playing 2 potential playoff opponents, the phils just aren’t motivated to play the Astros

I eat sentimentality for breakfast, but stats stop me dead in my tracks

by CoburnsCuddleBuddy on Sep 14, 2011 8:34 AM EDT up reply actions

This is just payback

from the baseball gods for allowing the Phils to beat the Brewers with a triple A lineup.

by groovyjazztime on Sep 14, 2011 9:20 AM EDT reply actions

Really??...

I saw last night the Astros have the best record vs. the Phillies since ’04. To quote Fredi Gonzalez, “sometimes you just gotta tip your hat and call ’em your daddy”. I may have embellished slightly.

by Blind Ninjas on Sep 14, 2011 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

I know, it’s total horseshit.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 14, 2011 11:01 AM EDT up reply actions

Wasn’t that Pedro Martinez who said that?

Ed Snider is a crotchety old fuck.

That is all.

by EREX21 on Sep 14, 2011 11:09 AM EDT up reply actions

Yep.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 14, 2011 11:10 AM EDT up reply actions

Pedro might have said that, but Fredi has done a lot of cap tipping lately. I guess I like to think that a former Phillie couldn’t have said that.

by Blind Ninjas on Sep 14, 2011 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions

If it makes you feel better, think of it as a former Red Sox (Red Sock?) saying it instead.

by Cormican on Sep 14, 2011 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions

2012 schedule released

http://zozone.mlblogs.com/2011/09/14/the-2012-schedule-is-out/

It's only gonna get funner

by VanceinmyPants on Sep 14, 2011 10:33 AM EDT reply actions

Is it me or does Pence look like a gingerized Chris Martin in that picture?

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

by alcatraz0109 on Sep 14, 2011 11:02 AM EDT reply actions

He is one goofy-looking muthereffer, that’s for sure.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 14, 2011 11:05 AM EDT up reply actions

As my wife said after seeing the clip of him peeling off his shirt at Victorino's Fashion show

“I can just picture a different face on him, that’s fine.”

by Cormican on Sep 14, 2011 11:07 AM EDT up reply actions

Yeah, nice body. Face, not so much.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 14, 2011 11:11 AM EDT up reply actions

Ole Chuckles gave em the business last night

they deserved it…I expect a 20 spot tonight with a fire breathing Halladay on the mound.

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 14, 2011 12:12 PM EDT reply actions

Man wouldn’t that be something. I miss those absolute slaughter games we used to have, with 20-run leads and 10-run innings and the like.

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 12:57 PM EDT up reply actions

Who the fuck is J.B. Shuck?

Might as well just hand them over.

by All ur Aces R Belong to Us on Sep 14, 2011 12:14 PM EDT reply actions

in quotes, that is the entire transcript of Charlie’s post game presser

1/5/7 and counting...

by DirtyWaters on Sep 14, 2011 12:17 PM EDT up reply actions

+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+ABANDON ALL HOPE,

.YE WHO ENTER HERE
.
.✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+✜+HOW HEAVY THIS AXE

by j reed on Sep 14, 2011 12:34 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

^^^ hillarious ^^^

by Freddyd on Sep 14, 2011 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions

lol

Might as well just hand them over.

by All ur Aces R Belong to Us on Sep 14, 2011 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions

It can see my soul

by phatj on Sep 14, 2011 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions

Anyone see the newest edition of Phillies High on The Fightins?

Comedic Gold

Ed Snider is a crotchety old fuck.

That is all.

by EREX21 on Sep 14, 2011 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

You have a different link highlighted—something about Penn State.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 14, 2011 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Son of a bitch…that was something I sent to my father…all week I’ve been on a PSU is ruining my life kick.

Better

Ed Snider is a crotchety old fuck.

That is all.

by EREX21 on Sep 14, 2011 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Effin’ terrific. Great stuff, like, indeed.

by Phrozen on Sep 14, 2011 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions

Two words: swag prom.

What kind of plane is it? Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big ol' Tylenol.

by doubleh on Sep 14, 2011 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions

Swagasaurus

by Blind Ninjas on Sep 14, 2011 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions

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Saturday, May 26, 2012, 7:15 PM EDT
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Kyle Kendrick vs Jaime Garcia

Clear. Winds blowing out to left field at 5-15 m.p.h. Game time temperature around 95.

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