In less than the span of 24 hours, Philly fans, will likely go from using the term "douche-bag" in reference to umpire Joe West, and his inexplicable renegade approach to yesterday's replay call, to invariably describe another favorite "douche-bag, Larry "Chipper" Jones. I myself referred to "The Chipper" as a douche-bag over 36 times during the last Braves series,. I will likely eclipse that total over the next three days for sure.
And its not without reason. Both of these
men douche-bags, over the course of their storied careers, have performed acts of douchiness beyond compare, both on and off the field.Even when compared with other prominent douche-bagsof their time.
Take Albert Belle's attitude,Barry Bonds flippant disregard, Cody Ross's wardrobe,heck, even the Clown Prince of all things Douche himself, Brian Wilson; while all of those names carry a level of douchiness beyond comprehension,Even if you were to combine their douchiness into one overpowering superdouche, it likely would not hold a candle to the same high level of Douche-baggery performed by Larry and Joe on a consistent basis.
For Larry and Joe, its not just the acts of Doucheiness, that sets them highest on that vinegary bagged pedestal.
Its the sheer flagrant and cocksure arrogance and disregard towards their acts of douchiness, That makes them both so much more douchey than the average douche.
Yet,while they both posses eerily similar qualities of pure douchiness (along with sharing a first name with two of the three stooges, just a really cool similarity, IMO) The real question weighing on my mind is this.
Is one a bigger, more powerful Douche than the other?
Seriously, what would happen if they pooled their douchiness together on a country and western song? who would sound more douchey?
If they went out for a douche-bag night on the town together at the local hooters, could one perform a single act of douchiness that much better than the other?
Is there one defining momentof douchiness that sets one so far apart from the other that its not even a contest?
Is it possible that there is a bigger, more powerful douchebag out there that I'm forgetting about?
Those are the mysteries that I believe we can answer here at TGP. And given the size of the cloud of douchiness hanging around CBP right now, its an important one to solve.
So with that, I pose the following question.
Who is the bigger (and perhaps greater) douchebag, Larry or Joe?
Please give your reasons for voting the way you did below. Inquiring minds want to know.