THE SHARP SHOOTER [a hyper-link'd poem about Dom Brown]
mega h/t to aeryssports.com
With my deepest apologies to Ted Kooser.
clutched in the left hand
like a magical bat,
his potential frozen in time.
under the sparkly
thinbling'd necklace, the shirt
opened amidst the beige
curtain of the bathtub,
and this young playa among
the pump handsoaps,
his eyes as off-center as a bead
on a liner,
just a smidgen of fight
in his one unbroke hand,
like a star you might see
at the ballpark,
if he don't screw it up.
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Cmon now. It was for his adult friend finder profile pic.
by Boundforbeach on Jan 10, 2012 9:22 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Likes: Milk steak, hand soaps, being lazy
Dislikes: Hunter Pence, left field, people’s knees
Some people don't think it be what it is, but it do.
by TheOrangeCone on Jan 10, 2012 1:28 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
No, no, we’ve been over this. He’s a PipeWiener™.
by Wet Luzinski on Jan 10, 2012 9:30 PM EST up reply actions
Who's a bigger douche? The douche or the douche who mocks him?

Some people don't think it be what it is, but it do.
by TheOrangeCone on Jan 11, 2012 7:24 PM EST up reply actions
this is the year he turns it around
"Start playing with some jam in here"
by CoburnsCuddleBuddy on Jan 10, 2012 9:39 AM EST reply actions
You win one (1) rec.
http://www.thegoodphight.com
by WholeCamels on Jan 10, 2012 11:29 AM EST up reply actions
Is this like a thing? For previously injured major league outfielders to take half-naked pictures of themselves with their iPhones in their bathroom? (Ah, Grady Sizemore!)
Moyer for 5th Starter in 2012.
by Missing Jamie Moyer on Jan 10, 2012 10:26 AM EST reply actions
somebody run the david wright trade by me again?
Because that ridiculous photo may be the thing that finally turns me against Dom.
by taco pal on Jan 10, 2012 10:33 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
Look on the bright side. At least he’s not living beyond his means. That bathroom is horrid, replete with a mirrored outlet cover. The 70s called, and they want their powder room back.
by Boundforbeach on Jan 10, 2012 10:46 AM EST up reply actions
Not to play off gender stereotypes… okay, that’s exactly what I’m doing…. but that definitely looks like a woman’s bathroom. Maybe he’s at his mom’s house?
http://www.thegoodphight.com
by WholeCamels on Jan 10, 2012 11:42 AM EST up reply actions
Yeah, no man has a beaded shower curtain.
"I wouldn’t run if there was a fire. I wouldn’t run anywhere. I hate running." - O. Munn
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t count.
Some people don't think it be what it is, but it do.
by TheOrangeCone on Jan 14, 2012 7:07 PM EST up reply actions
I have suit in mind but darling, that shower curtain

…feh. no, no, no. But that reminds me — no capes.
Well this throws a crimp in the Marvel’d line-up I’ve been inking because now Dom is so Luke Cage -ing it.

worst costume evar.
I concur. Disappointing. What has become of SportingFanaticism?
by Wet Luzinski on Jan 20, 2012 12:00 AM EST up reply actions
Now that I’ve reconciled myself to Pat being truly gone, Dom Brown is now the Most Poetic Phillie.
by Wet Luzinski on Jan 10, 2012 9:31 PM EST up reply actions
Theres something very sad, melancholy
http://www.thegoodphight.com
by WholeCamels on Jan 10, 2012 11:19 PM EST up reply actions
Hmm, this indeed. Odd to meditate a bit on this image, but when I boil it down it is either part of a series of self-portraits in the lady bathrooms of sexual conquests, a loss in a bet he was ill-advised to take, or, as noted above, bait for an adult dating site. None of them inspires confidence.
by Wet Luzinski on Jan 11, 2012 11:43 PM EST up reply actions
What exactly is the provenance of this photo anyway? He doesn’t have twitter, right? Did somebody hack his computer? Did he text it to a lady, Anthony Weiner style?
Link, which references Twitter and Facebook.
by Wet Luzinski on Jan 12, 2012 12:29 AM EST up reply actions
Wish I had abs like that
Some guy at PSU Hershey Med Center just discovered a virus that eats cancer. Where were the CNN trucks for that? THON will probably break $10 mil this year. Put that on "Outside the Lines".
TBH, while he’s clearly very cut-up there, I don’t think that physique is a good look at all and I wouldn’t want to copy it. Something about it is weird and off.
Or maybe it’s just his facial expression. Melancholy is part of it, but there’s more to it than that. It gives off this vague foreboding sense that something unspeakable has just happened outside the camera lens.
The asymmetrical abs are bothersome as well.
by Wet Luzinski on Jan 12, 2012 12:27 AM EST up reply actions
well it looks like he’s leaning a bit to one side, so perhaps as the opposing side’s musculature has to do more work and therefore is tensed more it looks different? Besides no one is perfectly anatomically symmetrical.
I mean really what guy would want to have abs like that? /eyeroll
http://www.thegoodphight.com
by WholeCamels on Jan 15, 2012 10:45 AM EST up reply actions
I think Dom shaves a lot. Like, southwards.
Why look'st thou so?' -"With my crossbow
I shot the Albatross."
by RememberthePhitans on Jan 11, 2012 9:28 PM EST via mobile reply actions

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