A Major League Baseball season is a long and grueling affair for everyone involved. Players, coaches, broadcasters, bloggers... Just like teams need Spring Training to get back in shape, so do bloggers. Over the course of an offseason, wits may dull, fanaticism can wane, snark may dissolve into a gibbous moon of wintry sadness; but with the Annual TGP Over/Under/Never New Spring Training Edition, we hope to stem that tide. After all, if we're to be in the best [blogging] shape of our lives, we've got no time to waste!

Details after the jump.

For those of you who don't know how this works, here's the poop. Listed below is a series of "events," and a corresponding date. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to identify if the event will occur "Over", that is, after the date, "Under," or prior to the date, or "Never," which should be self-evident. Two key points to remember: not every date needs to correspond to a particular game--this being Spring Training, some events may occur during workouts or scrimmages; and unless specifically noted in the event description, all events refer to Phillies' players.

SHOULD OF GUESSED!

For your reference, to aid in prognosticating, the Phillies' Spring Training schedule is here. H/t to Joecatz for the actual schedule.

Now, the events!

1. February 29.5; Starting pitcher retires every batter faced before being pulled.
2. March 2; Player in the "best shape of his life."
3. March 4.5; First base hit by Freddy Galvis, Pete Orr, Tuffy Gosewisch or Juan Pierre.
4. March 7.5; First starting CF other than Shane Victorino.
5. March 11.5; Jim Thome first starts at first base.
6. March 11.5; Jim Thome commits first error at first base.
7. March 14.5; Jimmy Rollins' first stolen base.
8. March 14.5; Chase Utley's first homerun.
9. March 15.5; Phillies face a lineup including both a Phormer Phillie and a Phormer Phuture Phillie.
10. March 19.5; First save by Michael STOOTES or Phillipe Aumont.
11. March 23.5; Joe Savery plays a position other than pitcher.
12. March 23.5; Player other than Joe Blanton or Jim Thome in the "best shape of his life."
13. March 24; Coal Hammels signs contract extension (bonus points for predicting the dollars and the years).
14. March 26.5; Dontrelle Willis appears at first base.
15. April 1.5; Announcement of Opening Day first baseman.

In addition, we have chosen six players who have outside chances to make the team out of Spring Training. Your task here is to identify whether they will be sent down early, relegated to extended ST, breaks camp for the On-Deck series, or is on the Opening Day 25-man roster.

1. Jiwan James
2. Phillipe Aumont
3. Justin DeFratus
4. Domonic Brown
5. Scott Podsednik
6. Michael Schwimer

You will be allowed to divine the results by any means available to you. Consult a gypsy woman, use a dousing stick, or even one of the lost seeing stones. You could even cheat, if you can generate 1.21 gigawatts. Entries will be accepted until the first event has occured. Entries will be accepted until the Phils-Yankees game begins on Saturday, but you won't receive credit for correctly predicting the past. Them's the breaks.

The poster who correctly posits the most outcomes shall win and receive a generous prize, possibly including a champion Slinky*.

*Slinky was obtained by TGP in the 3rd grade in a three-way, blockbuster trade swap involving four(!) sticks of gum, a Yo-Yo and a frog. Many lamented the trade at the time, as Slinky was injured with a right helical contusion and looked kinkier than Pat The Bat. After being nursed back to health however, Slinky went on to have a hall of fame career, winning an astounding 478 out of 510 staircases, most notably, the Philadelphia Museum of Art and the Penrose stairs. Slinky retired as a 12 time All-Stair. Slinky was coached by Matt Stairs.

Winners with young children may receive additional Slinkies.

So get prognosticatin', or you might just wind up in the Louse House of Kilkenny.