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Larry Jones to retire at end of 2012 MLB season

Larry Jones, long-time third baseman for the Atlanta Braves, announced that he will retire at the end of the 2012 MLB season. It is expected that the Braves will miss the playoffs again, depriving Jones of his long-desired valedictory WFC. Goodbye, nearly-forty-year-old-man named "Chipper." You are surely headed for the Hall of Fame where you will again finish second to a Phillie: 108.3 vs. 84.9. Thank you for beating in the brains of substandard Phillies teams for the better part of the Nineties and Aughts. We know they deserved it. You were a heckuva baseball player, and you were a master of getting on base. And scoring, too. Perhaps you are John Mayberry's father? Together, you could have ruled the galaxy. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

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