$&%*@&'n offense. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
After last night's amazing Cliff Lee performance followed by a miserable Charlie Manuel and Ty Wigginton performance, how about we get over our doldrums with a Thursday morning Phillies quiz. First place prize is the opportunity to be the Phillies late-inning pinch hitter facing left-handed pitching. Good luck all!
1. Cliff Lee’s reaction to last night:
A) Charlie should have let me hit.
B) Damn offense!
C) Wigginton at third in extra innings. Seriously?
2. When he’s "on," he’s the most enjoyable to watch:
A) Cliff Lee
B) Roy Halladay
C) Cole Hamels
D) Michael Stutes (*dreamy*)
3. The three aces are spending Thursday:
A) Texting Ryan Howard and Chase Utley: "get well soon!"
B) Taking extra batting practice because they’re just going to have to take measures into their own hands
C) Giving the hitters pep talks about excellence and preparation
D) Contacting their agents about trades to teams with real offenses
4. Jim Thome:
A) Just needs more at-bats to get on track
B) Should never pinch hit against a lefty
C) Could play better third base than Ty Wigginton
D) Is done
5. Charlie Manuel:
A) Needs a better bench coach to help him through situations like last night
B) Is human and makes mistakes
C) Lucked into being the winningest manager in Phillies history
D) Can’t be trusted to manage past midnight EDT
6. The Giants:
A) Have just as great a pitching staff as the Phillies
B) Have just as awful an offense as the Phillies
C) Have just as beautiful a home ballpark as the Phillies
D) Don’t have Ryan Howard and Chase Utley coming off the disabled list (hopefully) soon
7. All the pre-season worriers and naysayers:
A) Were right - this team has no offense and we knew it from the start
B) Have infected the team and its management
C) Have created a buzzkill atmosphere at CBP and among the fanbase
D) Don’t understand the concept of "small sample size"