2012 Phillies Player Preview: Roy Halladay

I will fight anyone who doesn't like this man. (Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-US PRESSWIRE)

I'm not going to lie to you fine folks. I find writing about Roy Halladay somewhat intimidating. I mean, it's Roy Halladay, for God's sake. What can I say that hasn't been said? What angle can I take? It's all been covered. Understatement. Hyperbole. Penguins. I'm left with no choice.

Roy Halladay True Facts Quiz

Roy Halladay is in Philadelphia because:

A) He was traded to Philadelphia prior to the 2010 season.

B) He was sent here by God to bring us peace and championships.

C) He enjoys the many yummy food options that make the city so famous.

When Roy Halladay stares a batter down at the plate, the appropriate reaction is:

A) Wet themselves in fear.

B) Swing the bat helplessly at nothing.

C) Run away as fast as humanly possible.

Those at Roy Halladay's perfect game:

A) Were transported to a magical land where they can eat all the candy they want.

B) Were healed of all of their ailments and diseases.

C) Will hold the memory of that glorious day close to their hearts forever.

Roy Halladay has:

A) The ability to speak to animals.

B) An awesome sidekick named Chooch.

C) Wrestled a python while riding a unicorn across the lands of Middle Earth.

I don't think I've ever met someone who didn't like -- or at least admire -- Roy Halladay. If there are people like that out there, they can either go straight to hell or they can get their asses over here and fight me.

Halladay had a less than stellar spring training, something that didn't really bother me, but seemed to concern others. He ended his spring with 22 innings pitched at a 5.73 ERA. Of course, that's not great, but again, it's spring and it's Roy Halladay. I couldn't be less worried if I tried. Several weeks ago, we were beset with reports that Halladay was injured, a report which Ruben Amaro Jr. denied, and then strongly denied, and then laughed at. Shockingly, that didn't make many of those concerned feel better. Halladay himself gave the better (and more detailed) answer, admitting that yes, he's getting older and consequently, it takes more time to get up to speed. He reassured everyone that he was feeling fine, and reiterated something that tends to be forgotten -- spring training exists to work on things. He also called the injury reports "poor reporting" twice in one sentence, which was kind of awesome.

If there's one thing that worried me about Roy Halladay's 2011 it was his first inning ERA. It was something I had noticed throughout last season, and sure enough his first inning ERA last year was 3.66 (it was an even 3.00 in 2010). But his career first inning ERA was actually higher, at 3.73, which made me feel kind of silly for being concerned. Especially considering that in 2011, his ERA for the second, third, sixth, and eighth innings were below 2. Those are numbers I really do enjoy looking at.

Whoops, there's one more question I forgot to add to the quiz.

When it comes to Roy Halladay, you should:

A) Cross stitch his likeness on a pillow.

B) Spend your free time scaring your family, friends, and co-workers while perfecting the Halladay Death Stare.

C) Try to watch him every chance you can, because it's a crime to miss out on any opportunity to watch the best pitcher in the game do what he was born to do.

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