With apologies to Lennon-McCartney (but I think we all know Paul wrote this one):

In Bullpenny Lane there is a Kendrick serving sinker balls

That miss the zone or else bounce off the outfield fence

One might have missed the glove of Hunter Pence

It makes no sense

On the corner is a scoreboard flicking rapidly

It used to show the Phillies with a decent lead

But one by one they let late innings bleed

With astounding speed

Bullpenny Lane it hurts my ears and stings my eyes

Balls leaving the park through springtime skies

I sit with less surprise

In Bullpenny Lane there was a Schwimer but he lost his trunks

He’ll have to sharpen up his stuff in triple A

Our Truck is leaking oil every day

Couldn’t Madson stay?

Bullpenny Lane it hurts my ears and stings my eyes

Aces sans decisions, excess why?s

Eighth inning? Close your eyes!

Behind the fence line on the right side of the Phils’ dugout

Rich Dubee’s pacing toward the phone with grim dismay

He knows the game’s a gift-wrapped giveaway

Served up on a tray

In Bullpenny Lane the Sanches keeps his fastball middle-in

Wheels can see this clearly as the replay rolls

The game thread’s slowly filling up with trolls

How I miss the LOLs

Bullpenny lane it hurts my ears and stings my eyes

Balls launched far into the springtime skies

Bullpenny Lane