SIGN HIM ALREADY: Phillies 3, Padres 2

Sweet Jesus, Cole Hamels sure is awesome. (Photo by Brian Garfinkel/Getty Images)

Cole Hamels, oh Cole Hamels. He got it done in seven innings against the Padres today, allowing just one run on five hits and three walks. His ERA is an absurdly low 2.28, and today's game earned him his fifth consecutive win. Coming into today, he had the best strikeout-to-walk ratio in the majors. I'm sorry, please excuse me for a moment...

[OH GOD COLE PLEASE DON'T LEAVE I'M BEGGING YOU WHY WON'T AMARO SIGN YOU ALREADY THIS IS KILLING ME DON'T GO COLE PLEASE DON'T GO PLEEEEEEASE OH MY GOD DON'T]

Ahem. Sorry. Jose Contreras tried his damnedest to screw it all up in the 8th, allowing a run on two hits before being yanked for Antonio Bastardo. Contreras' ERA actually went up today. When he entered the eighth, it was sitting at 8.59. When he left, it has risen to a cool 9.00. I sort of want Jonathan Papelbon (who saved the game today for his 10th of the season) to do a douchey jig on his head. Contreras had surgery last year and is approximately 74 years old. I don't know why I keep expecting him to do better than this.

Jimmy Rollins led off the game with a home run, his first of the year, and the 38th lead-off homer of his career. Despite that, the offense Phillies'd it up against Jeff Suppan, leaving baserunners left and right (a total of 8 today). Brian Schneider and Juan Pierre were today's other heroes, each with two hits and one RBI. Chooch came in to pinch hit for Schneider in the seventh and promptly singled, leaving me fanning myself over his complete and utter awesomeness.

Pence's struggles at the plate continued today, though TGP contributor Phrozen tells me it's just because the Phillies have been playing the Padres so damn much. Pence has been effing atrocious against San Diego, but he's hitting .291 against everyone else. So that's something. But hey, speaking of sucking, Ty Wigginton is still doing that. He singled today, but he's been unspeakably awful in the month of May. Coming into today, his slash line for May is a sparkling .143/.273/.143. Compare that to his April line of .322/.379/.475. Or, you know what? Don't. I'm sad just looking at it.

So it wasn't easy, but the Phillies managed to scratch out a series win against the Padres, a team that pretty much blows. The still over performing Astros come to town tomorrow for a quick two game series, and all I can think about are those awful games the Phillies played against them in September last year someone please make the demons stop.

Behold the delightful upward trajectory of this Fangraph:


Source: FanGraphs

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