FanPost

Baseba'al, Phaith, and the Problem of Sucking

Baseba_2527al_medium

via 2.bp.blogspot.com

Professor Cohen brilliantly posted on the test of phaith that the 2012 season has been so far - a frustrating run where the win-loss results are at odds with the underlying statistical measures of the quality of play. This unique set of criteria offers not only a test of our personal phaith, but also sheds light on the great epistemological and theological question of the age: what is the nature of Baseba’al?

It was easy to have phaith in Baseba’al over the last five or six years; it was also easy to reconcile this being as omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent. The 2012 season, however, brings to light the Problem of Sucking in both its logical and evidential forms.

The logical Problem of Sucking follows the Epicurean schematic:

1). If an all-powerful and perfectly good Baseba’al exists, then the Phillies sucking does not

2). The Phillies are sucking (win/loss-wise) in 2012

3). Therefore, an all-powerful and perfectly good Baseba’al does not exist.

The evidential Problem of Sucking follows the reasoning of William L. Rowe:

1). There exist instances of intense fanbase suffering which an omnipotent, omniscient Baseba’al could have prevented without thereby permitting some suckage equally bad or worse.

2). An omniscient, wholly good Baseba’al would prevent the occurrence of any intense fanbase suffering it could, unless it could not do so without thereby permitting some suckage equally bad or worse.

3). (Therefore) There does not exist an omnipotent, omniscient, wholly good Baseba’al

Rational, atheistic responses flow fairly easily from this type of philosophical exercise. Epicurus reasoned "Is Baseba’al willing to prevent Sucking, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Whence then is Sucking? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him Baseba’al?", This community – judging by the game threads and fan posts – seems to have a strong belief in the redemptive powers of Baseba’al, so theistic responses should explored more deeply.

Rational, theistic responses to the Problem of Sucking take the form of logical defenses in which one resolves the problem of Sucking entirely, or of theodicies in which one attempts to rationalize the existence of Sucking with an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent Baseba’al. A summary of the major responses follows:

Logical Strategy

Dystheism

Belief that Baseba’al is not wholly good

Ditheism

Belief in two great rival non-omnipotent dieties (e.g. Zoroastrianism)

Open Theism

Belief that establishes limits to Baseba’al’s omnipotence or omniscience

Argument from Free Will

Belief that Baseba’al’s omniscience is limited by mankind’s free will

Theodicy

Augustinian

Belief that Sucking is derived from sin and the fall of the fanbase

Ireneaan

Belief that Sucking is necessary for spiritual growth

Fortune

Belief that Sucking happens to good phans due to poor choices and/or lack of hard work

Misfortune

Belief that being a good phan will result in an afterlife full of WIN

My personal belief runs along the lines of Dystheism in that I believe Baseba’al to be inherently good with regard to baseball, but not necessarily good with regard to the Phillies. I have phaith that the 2012 season is what is best for the sport as a whole even if it means additional regional suffering for the phans.

What say you, phighters? What is the nature of Baseba’al?

SB Nation Featured Video
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join The Good Phight

You must be a member of The Good Phight to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at The Good Phight. You should read them.

Join The Good Phight

You must be a member of The Good Phight to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at The Good Phight. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker