2013 Game Recaps

The Samson of Facial Hair: Phillies 6, Cubs 5

When I find the Delilah that shaved Kevin Frandsen's facial hair, she will pay.

Carlos Danger - Mets 11 - Phillies 3

If you had any excitement about not having to face Matt Harvey the 2013 Phillies crushed such hope, as only the 2013 Phillies can.

Sweet Dreams, Easily Forgotten: Phillies 6, Mets 2

The Phillies and Mets played a game that was the stuff of dreams. No, not big highfallutin' dreams. Humdrum dreams like yours and mine, impossible to fathom, but there nonetheless.

Mets 5, Phillies Nil: Hedged Baseball

So the Mets kicked the Phillies in the shins today. It wasn't really that bad. You have lots of reasons to keep living. Mets fans don't.

SNY, AKA Sad New York: Phillies 2, Mets 1

Tonight's broadcast was a three hour meditation on the futility of life.

Roy Rising: Phillies 9, Diamondbacks 5

Roy Halladay is back, and he's gonna kick your ass.

No one left - Diamonbacks 12 - Phillies 7

There is no end to the ways the Phillies can lose a game when I have a recap.

Dom's Day Clock: Phillies 5, Rockies 4

Dom's Day, right? Cool, so that's a thing. We'll make that a thing.

Grin til it hurts: Rockies 5, Phillies 3

In which a terrible horror movie gimmick is relayed as an allegory for a terrible baseball team.

Manship Goes Down on Long Mayberry Dong

In a flurry of homoeroticism inspired by a resurfaced photo of a slickly-oiled Glenn Wilson, the Phillies pounced on top of the Rockies early and stayed there until the last measure of resistance was sucked from the Rockies by Jonathan Papelbon.

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