Happy New Year's! Now Tear it Down!

I got a lot of problems with you people! - Patrick McDermott

As the Phillies have yet to notice that the holidays have ended, it seems only fitting that we usher in the new year with them now with resolutions and revisions.

Happy New Year's! For all of us here at The Good Phight, let me be the first to welcome you to the weird, spooky year we call 2013. You'll receive your flying car after your 3,000th comment (schmenkman will attest to this).

While this might seem like a woefully belated celebration on our part, it seemed only fitting given that the Phillies seem to have postponed any New Year's fireworks themselves. Charlie Manuel is likely still in a ham-induced coma. Ruben Amaro, Jr. got deep into the non-egg, non-dairy, non-spiced egg nog (read: whiskey). And Michael Young converted most of the clubhouse to a cult devoted to Quetzalcoatl; once the whole December 21st thing went pear-shaped, everyone got pretty sulky. The team is not, you might say, at its most prepared; this, at least, is our best guess at why the team, outside of Zolecki articles and Giancarlo Stanton denials, has been on radio silence since the December 20th signing of Mike Adams.

So, as they shuffle back to this wakeful coil, it seems only right that we, the knowledgeable and attractive blog-types we are, help them get back into the swing of things. The premise of this exercise is twofold, and presumes that not only can you change the future -- a pretty boring premise -- but that you can also change the past -- an at least slightly more interesting premise. First, you may give a resolution to the Phillies, something that they absolutely, positively should (or, perhaps, should not) do in the upcoming 2013 season. Second, you may strike down with all due fury one move from the 2012 season to present. The only catch is that you have to provide some rationale for both moves.

I'll go first, but feel free to repeat (it only makes my ego stronger). My resolution for the Phillies is that they not trade for any over-the-hill, expensive players, namely Alfonso Soriano or Vernon Wells. My reasoning for this is little more than tin-hatted paranoia, but since the Player-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named-Later (D. Santana) fiasco, I've never been able to trust Amaro to make the easy choice. One imagines Soriano and his contract could be had for your proverbial also-ran of a prospect, but I could certainly see Dom Brown in Cubbie Blue, and while I'd appreciate the proximity, it's not an image I relish. So, for 2013, let's work on not trading for bad veterans.

Speaking of bad veterans, my revision for 2012 is, admittedly, a cliched one, but I can't think of anything more appropriate: the Phillies should go back in time and reverse the trade for Michael Young. The rationale here isn't so much about Young -- I can see a bounce-back season being possible as much as the next guy -- and moreso about the player going the other way. Call me a prospect pornographer if you will, but even if Lisalverto Bonilla's ceiling is shutdown ninth inning guy, and even if he's a redundancy in the Phillies' system, one imagines that Amaro could have traded any number of less qualified redundancies for the privilege of relieving Jon Daniels of an unproductive and argumentative player. Pitchers who throw 12 strikeouts per nine innings while only walking ~3 per nine do not grow on trees; bad defensive third basemen past their prime definitely do. Ah well.

So, what do you all think? Would you advise the Phillies differently? Give the ax to some other unsuspecting jerk? Revise history so that I wasn't given the ability to ask you these questions on such a large forum? The world is dying to know.

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