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Kwahu's take on the 2013 MLB Postseason

I haven't been very active here at TGP, but since it's October I decided to write my thoughts on the remaining teams for this year's race to the Fall Classic. I'd have written something on the Reds but I'm so into the Iggles adventures on the Chip Ship right now that I forgot their wild card loss was today. So let's start with my take on the Pirates:

Pirates - ...ehhh, to hell with them. Pittsburgh's collectively spoiled, Pollyanna fanbase makes the whole DC RG3 #Natitude hype-shtick seem like heart-warming, down to earth fun in comparison ('Buctober'? Really?). The egos of the Steel city's fanbase and nationwide bandwagon do not need any more stroking. Let them suffer for years to come.

Indians- yeah, I could root for these guys. They've suffered lifetimes of existential sports horror as a city, arguably much more than Negadelphia has, and they don't even have their "Lidge sliding toward Chooch" moment of victorious bliss, however 5-years-ago that was.

Rays: My mild schadenfreude from seeing their (and the media's) Cinderella dreams crushed in '08 has more or less dissipated. If they can beat the Sox again, even better. But in three years, their hypothetical 2013 ring might as well have never existed, if we can go by the past behavior of that city's comatose ticket-buying populace when it comes to championships.

A's: They have more championships just as a Philly team than the Phillies do, right? Um, cool color scheme, underdogs... why not. I'd think their Bay Area hipster fans would soon become just as insufferable as the Giants though.

Sox: No thanx.

Dodgers: I wouldn't mind these guys going deep. As a recent arrival to So Cal, I'd rather see the Padres succeed, for similar reasons I give the A's and Indians, but I'll be ok if the blue fellas have fun this year. I kind of get bugged by the 'they're not loyal' meme that is apparently thought to be a good put-down for their fans. I also kind of feel a sort of smug pity for them due to crushing their dreams two years in a row. Perhaps their nightmares of Matt Stairs could be relieved and I wouldn't mind... but then again... only if they beat the Cardinals or Pirates.

Cardinals: See Pittsburgh. Spoiled, pollyanna, perpetually competent and fortunate FO... all that ugly stuff. I hope Dodger coyotes devour their rally squirrel. Once they play the Pirates, can they just eliminate each other?

Detroit: They are basically that team you know little about but might end up rooting for because you hate the other team they're playing. But they can't even get that done. In fact, they fail tremendously. That embarassing 'clown in a fire' moment known as the 2012 WS (2006 too, but tbh I barely remember how that one went) could be redeemed, sure, but I wouldn't really care if Oakland or Cleveland beat them. If they beat the Sox, maybe. Just don't lose to the goddamn Pirates or Cardinals (again). Please.

Braves: Nobody wants to hear the horrible aural combination that would be Joe Buck's voice droning over "The Chop" in the background. The audio of such a hideous event would be recorded by the NSA, the CIA and the military for use in torturing Gitmo prisoners and Syrian children.

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