I didn't think that was that bad of a pitch. Braves 9, Phillies 2

Yeah, it was that kind of night. - USA TODAY Sports

It all started with a K to Andrelton Simmonns. Maybe Roy is okay. Then a broken bat humpbacker into Right Field by Heyward (Downright fisted). Then came Justin Upton... 2-0 Barves. Home run to Right Center. After BJ Upton Struck Out, Freeman Walked. Dan Uggla got a 5 pitch Walk. (of note the tomahawk chop music sounds an awful lot like the Imperial March from Star Wars on the radio) Juan Francisco got a single just past Howard. 3-0 as Freeman scored standing up. Gattis then Struck out (thank you). Eight batters, 40 pitches in the First alone, bullpen activity before Gattis struck out (Raul Valdes)... might be a long night. Doc's control wasn't great, the Cutter seemed to be giving him trouble and Doc worked with his Curve more. In the First, I think Simmonns is the only guy that didn't start off with a Ball.

Well, it's Paul Maholm for the Braves, so there's hope. Rollins did rope a nice double in the First, Howard got a Walk, Revere was working his way towards a nice walk before grounding meekly to the Pitcher. In the Second Kratz kind of got jobbed on a DP, when Freeman dropped the, really bad, throw from Uggla, but the ump said he caught it and dropped it after the play. So instead of First an Third with one out, it was Brown on Third with 2 outs and the Pitcher coming up. End of frame.

Bottom of the Second. Braves = KKK. As in three Strike outs. This game is fucking weird sometimes. I lost my radio signal, so I'm just going to assume he plain ol' melted faces and all is right in the world.

The weirdness just continued, as Halladay Struck out everyone in Atlanta (mixed with some really bad location, a wild pitch). Sadly in the Third Freeman dropped a single into Left and Uggla drew a walk (or, to put another way stood there and watched Kratz struggle to keep up with the ball. Suddenly it must have felt like he was catching a Knuckleballer). Fortunately Juan Francisco grounded weekly to First to end the threat. With nearly 80 pitches through 3 innings, It's going to be a short night for Doc, but a long night for everyone else.

The Third started off well, with a rather long strike out of Maholm. Then the White Bear, Evan "Oso Blanco" Gattis just barely snuck a Homer over Dom Brown's glove in Left. 4-0. Halladay left after Three and a Third with nearly 100 pitches and the weird line of 9 K's, 3 BB's, 2 HR's, 1 WP, 6 H, 5 ER. This brought on Valdes, who quickly (actually painfully slowly) walked the bases loaded. Then the alliterative Freddie Fucking Freeman Doubled to clear the bases. 7-0. Also, fuck Freddie Freeman. I may have found a new Chipper. The Silver Lining to Valdes coming in, is he made Halladay look like an Ace as he couldn't find the plate. He did avoid further damage with Strike outs of BJ Upton and Uggla, but they were ugly, full count K's. It's gonna be a long night. Countdown to Durbin officially begins.

Then, well the game got dull for a while. And my computer went on the fritz and I lost a huge chunk of recap that I assure you was brilliantly written. Apparently even my laptop rebelled against this game. Save yer work kiddos. Anyway, long story short, in the 7th Utley had a 2 run double and it seemed like life returned to the team, maybe a comeback was brewing. Michael Young hit a ball weakly, but, because of a bad angle made it safely to first when he was hit by the throw while running on the baseline (and I mean, EXACTLY on the baseline). Utley wheeled around and scored 7-3 with Dom Brown due up. AWESOME! Wait, what? Young's out? Running outside the baseline? I had created a long rant about the idiot umpire, but it seems pointless to rehash now.

The Barves added two more runs in the 8th off a Simmmons single and another barely over the wall Homer. This time Heyward sneaking it over Mayberry. #bandbox

This makes me think of all the talk this offseason about productive outs, less strikeouts, walks don't matter production does and professional hitting. Well, the Braves struck out a crap ton, really had no productive outs, walked like crazy and destroyed a Phillies club that didn't really strike out too much, took very, very few walks and a few professional hits. There were a maddening number of missed opportunities. A little more patience by Revere in the First and I think he gets walked and perhaps it's a whole new ball game. Erik Kratz did his best Wilson Valdez, successfully killing 2 rallies. The Phillies went 1 for 11 RISP.

This game was maddening. No Game graph for 2 reasons. 1 I haven't quite figured it out yet and 2. It's easier to just tell you to picture the opening of ABC's Wide World of Sports. You know, the Agony of Defeat scene. J. Upton's homer is the start down the hill, then when it seemed like it went as low as possible Heyward homers and the skier falls off the goddamned mountain.

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