Tonight's game featured some incredible things. Fluffy bunnies, for one. They invaded the field, and when the adorable kitty army came to stop them, they all decided that fighting was stupid and frolicked instead. And near the end of the game, Ryan Gosling rode in on a rainbow.
Ok, I'm lying. None of those things happened tonight. But any one of those things would have made tonight's game better. Hell, a head cold would have made tonight's game better, since then I would have had a reason to drink heavily during the game. Other than the Phillies being on, that is.
It's not like tonight was 100% bad. But it's tough to see the good when it's obscured by the overwhelmingly bad. Sort of like an eclipse of the sun, only made of suck. Ryan Howard, Domonic Brown, Ben Revere, and Jimmy Rollins all had two hit games. But Michael Young and Chase Utley (in his return from the disabled list) each went 0-for-5. The Phillies strung together a bunch of hits and scored three runs in the third inning, but they didn't score again for the rest of the game (they had a real chance to tack on a few runs in the fifth and they would regret their failure the very next inning). Jimmy Rollins made an exceptional diving catch in the fifth inning, which made Delmon Young's already inadequate defense look even sillier later in the game. A ridiculous call change from umpire Adrian Peterson gave the Mets an extra out and bailed Mike Stutes out of trouble in the eighth, but the Phillies were unable to capitalize on it in the ninth.
And eclipsing them all was Cole Hamels. This is all you need to know about Cole Hamels tonight.
This is almost incomprehensible: Cole Hamels is the first Phillies pitcher with 11 losses before the end of June since 1937.— Matt Gelb (@magelb) June 22, 2013
In other news, Juan Lagares and Eric Young (the newest Met) are evil. This fangraph just proves it.