I'll admit it. I watched the first inning last night before switching the channel to the premiere of Parks and Recreation. I rooted for the Barves, and it made me sick. I cheered when Jayson Heyward launched the first pitch of the game into the stratosphere, and there was joy in Mudville when after the first inning filled of rocket blasts off of Tyler Cloyd the game was basically over, because I knew the Phillies were inching closer to a protected draft pick.
And after the dust settled on an evening that saw the Brewers beat the Mets, and the Padres and Giants both come from behind to defeat the Diamondbacks and the Dodgers, respectively, the Phillies control their own destiny.
Based on the current reverse standings, The Phillies find themselves in a four way tie with the Rockies, Blue Jays and Brewers for the last four protected picks, at 72-87. With three games left, and the Angels sitting at 78 wins, the only teams that are behind them that could possibly leap in front are the Mets at 73 wins, the the Giants at 74 and the Padres at 75.
The Giants play the Padres. The Mets play The Brewers. The Phillies hold a tie breaker over the Giants and Brewers. What this means, with three games left for everyone is simple.
The Rockies and Blue Jays have no bearing on the Phillies.
If the Phillies lose ONE MORE GAME, they can finish no better than 74 wins on the season, and based on the Mets and Brewers playing out, and the Padres and Giants playing each other and tie breakers, that loss GUARANTEES the Phillies no worse than the tenth, and last protected pick.
Lose one more, the pick is secure. Got it? say it out loud. It's catchy. Tweet it to the masses. You have my blessing.
LOSE ONE MORE, THE PICK IS SECURE.
Easy as pie.
Except nothing has been easy this season. Nothing. Everything has been a complete and utter s*&t-storm of epic proportions. So it's only natural for me to assume that this team, that couldn't string together a winning streak to save their lives will end up winning out these last three games. it's only natural.
And if that happens, if the Phillies win all three games?
Well, then they need the following to happen.
1. They need the Giants to win at least ONE, but not MORE than two games against the Padres.
2. They need either the Mets or the Brewers to win ALL THREE games vs each other, but not split.
That's easier said than done.So without further adeu I give you Catstradamus final prediction for 2013:
Cliff Lee tonight. A bullpen game tomorrow. Zach Miner Sunday. Cliff Lee will throw a shutout. The Bullpen will hold the Braves to an extra inning victory. The Brewers or Mets will take two in a row, the Giants or Padres will take two in a row, and somehow, on Sunday, vs. a Braves squad that will be playing scrubs, and setting their rotation, Zach Miner will pitch the game of his life, and the Phillies will win.
And the Mets or Brewers will continue the sweep, and at 4:05 PM the pick will come down to The Giants or Padres, and the baseball gods will crap in our cornflakes just like they have all year.
Cause that's the gist of 2013 folks. A big bowl of crap filled cornflakes.
And in reality, the mere fact that this season has come down to me having to root for the Braves makes me want to puke to begin with. The reality is the protected pick means very little in the grand scheme of things. Picking 12th and losing a 16 year old high odd lottery ticket and the slot money attached to him when Ruben goes out and overpays for Shin Soo Choo or Brian McCann over keeping that guy and signing them anyway really doesn't matter. We all know that kid is doomed to get traded along with JP Crawford for Hunter Pence sometime in the middle of 2015 anyway. Its how we roll.
What matters is that they do the right things this off-season to avoid another bowl full of feces of a roster.
I never embraced the tank. I embraced the idea of having SOMETHING to root for in a god forsaken season. And it's only fitting, that in the end, that over the last three games they screw up the one thing they've been good at all season.
Get your hopes up, maybe Cliff will be so in the zone that he gives up a HR or two tonight. Maybe the bullpen will revert to being the bullpen of old and give up a ton of runs tomorrow. Maybe Zach Miner will be Zach Miner.
or Maybe Ryne Sandberg will finally figure out why Michael Martinez is on this roster and start him tomorrow night on the hill.
But it's more likely, in my humble opinion that they'll win out. They've done everything else wrong this season, why start doing something right now? Who knows maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not, This season has been about as easy to figure out as advanced quantum physics. I haven;t been sure about anything this year. Well, maybe one thing.
So with the final Catz corner of the regular season, I leave you with the one thing I know for sure about 2013:
SHOULD OF KEPT SCHIERHOLTZ!!!