Long Pants: Phillies 6, Braves 5

This is the most Galvisy photo of all time. - Brian Garfinkel

Jonathan Papelbon was bad again (please try to contain your shock and surprise), but Freddy Galvis saved the day.

Freddy Galvis saved this recap from being entirely about how much I hate Jonathan Papelbon.

I mean, I'm still going to talk about that quite a bit. Don't you think for one minute that I'm going to let a chance to shit on my least favorite active player slip away. Yeah, I said it. My least favorite active player. Not just my least favorite Phillies player. I hate Papelbon more than any current major league baseball player. And if Chipper Jones weren't retired, it would be a very close race between the two. That is how much I hate Jonathan Papelbon. So much that it nearly eclipses my hatred of Chipper Jones.

But I digress.

For eight whole innings, the Phillies were clicking on all cylinders. Yes, this is how it looks when the 2013 Phillies are clicking on all cylinders. Through eight innings, they'd racked up 14 hits and scored five runs, leaving 12 men on base. Kyle Kendrick's outing was... I think you could call it good. He allowed three runs on four hits and three walks,racking up eight strikeouts. He went six innings tonight. His biggest mistake came in the third inning, when he loaded the bases for Freddie Freeman, who came into tonight hitting .435 with the bases loaded. So of course he smacked a two-run single to momentarily give the Braves the lead. The Phillies would tie it up in the bottom of that inning when Carlos Ruiz (now hitting .280) smacked a two-run single of his own.

The Phillies lineup contained five multi-hit games tonight. (Not to mention one multi-walk game -- Darin Ruf walked three times, which is encouraging but probably confusing to several of his teammates.) Both Chase Utley and Carlos Ruiz had two hits each. Cesar Hernandez notched his first three-hit game in the majors. (Hail Cesar!) Kevin Frandsen's beard is back in full force, and he had three hits. Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO!

But tonight was about Freddy Galvis. Dimpled, rosy cheeked Freddy Galvis, who has now graduated to long pants. Looking for a way to get out of the terrible slump he was in, Galvis apparently decided to ditch the high socks tonight and wear his pants long. Coming into the ninth inning, the pants had done their job -- he had three hits, including an RBI single in the fifth inning, and looked increasingly delighted with each one. I had missed Freddy Galvis. Whenever he's in the field or the batter's box or on the bases, it always looks like the joy he gets from playing is about to cause him to sprout rainbow happy wings that will carry him aloft. He looks like he's barely able to contain how thrilled he is to be there. Tonight, I thought my TV would explode from the intensity of the Galvis glee on display.

Galvis got the chance to be the hero tonight when he hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the ninth inning to put the Phillies on top with a score of 6-5. Of course, even though it was super awesome and wonderful, there would have been no need for it had Jonathan Papelbon not come in and suck vomited over everything. Going into the ninth inning, the Phillies were leading 4-3. They were winning. After Papelbon allowed a one-out single to Chris Johnson, he had a long at-bat with Andrelton Simmons. Then the Phillies were no longer winning as that long at-bat ended with Simmons hitting a game tying two-run homer. (To be fair, Simmons is really awesome, even for a Brave.)

It was then that my brain started leaking out my ears, because that was Lights On Papelbon's (tm Phrozen) seventh blown save of the season, and oh my God I hate him so much. SO MUCH. But of course, Freddy Galvis got to hit his walk-off home run, putting an adorable top hat on his already impressive evening. Papelbon gets another win because life isn't fair and stupidity and ignorance reign supreme and why won't you go away you enormous tool bag, just leave town no one likes you get out get out get out do you want help moving because I'll help you move as long as you PLEASE GO AWAY OH MY GOD LEAVE I CAN'T STAND YOU GET OUT.

Freddy Galvis probably won't be going back to the high socks for awhile. I'm fine with that as long as he pelts Jonathan Papelbon with vegetables at the next team meeting.


Source: FanGraphs

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