Hey Phillies. It's your old pal Liz. I have a humble request for you today.
I don't care what you have to do. Roberto Hernandez will probably have to pitch all nine innings today so we can stay away from the radioactive disaster that is the Phillies bullpen. Also, has anyone seen Brad Lincoln and Justin De Fratus? It SAYS that they're on the roster, but Ryne Sandberg has used the same relievers in all three games. Are they lost? On vacation? Time traveling?
Just win. Please. I'm begging you. There are babies in the world who do not yet know what it's like for the Phillies to win. Those babies will grow up Phillies fans and you owe it to those adorable, newborn babies to NOT SUCK TODAY.
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