Game Recaps

A tale of two Hamels: Phillies 4, Nationals 3

42

I'm sorry, I still can't get used to the Phillies winning so much.

Time Marches Off-Beat: Phillies 3, Nationals 2

11

AJ Burnett strikes out 12, gets the win, and induces existential reflections.

Loopy: Phillies 7, Cardinals 1

17

Suck it, Cardinals. Enjoy not being in the playoffs! Or, enjoy being in the playoffs, as your playoff fate hasn't been decided yet!

Game Recap: Cardinals 6, Phillies 5

10

Why won't you just lose quickly? Why?

Jar Jar Kendrick: Phillies 5, Cardinals 4

16

Jar Jar Binks: more popular than Kyle Kendrick.

La Bamba: Phillies 4, Mariners 3

8

Yo no soy marinero!

Takin' it to the ZZZZZZZs: Mariners 5, Phillies 2

9

We've reached the "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST LOSE ALREADY" part of the season.

Kendrick and the Tantrums: Giants 6, Phillies 5

35

This was a tough one for our Wild Card hopes. Playing a team ahead of them in the Wild Card standings, the Phillies desperately needed a win to keep their hopes alive.

Chase Utley, you are the man: Phillies 7, Mets 6

47

Kyle Kendrick sucks, Chase Utley is awesome, and Ryan Howard helps the Phillies walk it off.

Womp womp: Mets 2, Phillies 1 (11)

10

Charlie Manuel Night obviously means nothing to these Phillies.

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Amaro is brilliant: Phillies 2 Nationals 1

71

The Phils won their second straight against the first place Nationals, thanks to some of Ruben Amaro's low-risk, high-reward signees this year.

A Day of Disconsolateness: Phillies 10, Wash. 4

27

Today was an active day across the league. For Phillies fans, things could have gone better. Even tonight's win was spoiled.

Frog Day Afternoon: Mets 11, Phillies 2

27

Things went predictably poorly this afternoon for the Phillies, and then Phillippe Aumont came out of the bullpen.

On the Edgin of tomorrow: Phillies 6, Mets 0

11

Let's all thank Josh Edgin for serving up that Chase Utley grand slam, which is one of the greatest things a human being can see with their eyes.

Perfect timing: Mets 7, Phillies 1

34

All the bad stuff is happening right before the trade deadline, so when the Phillies do nothing they can blame that. How lucky!

Replay says . . . win! Phillies 4, Diamondbacks 2

98

This game may have turned out differently any other year baseball has been played.

Bastardo'd! Diamondbacks 10, Phillies 6

62

These two terrible teams have both scored 15 runs in the past two games. Last night, advantage Phillies. Tonight, advantage Diamondbacks.

A win streak! Phillies 9, Diamondbacks 5

69

Facing a team just as bad as they are, the Phillies scattered runs all night, beating the Diamondbacks 9-5.

Just like old times: Phillies 2, Giants 1

36

Rollins and Utley produce the runs. Hamels prevents them. Just like old times....

Itchy-Twitchy Spider - Giants 3 - Phillies 1

58

I unleash some Pence up aggression.

[Manship pun here]: Giants 9, Phillies 6

38

I'm too tired to make up my own clever Manship pun, so please pretend I did.

Match dot bomb: Giants 7, Phillies 4

10

I'm not even a little sorry about the recap title.

The Rains of Walksamore: Braves 8, Phillies 2

31

The Phillies outhit the Braves, but thanks to seven walks and two hit batsmen, the Braves walked all over them.

Stone Cole-d: Phillies 2 Braves 1

30

Give us all of your prospects for Cole Hamels. All of them.

They're back, flailing: Braves 6 Phillies 4

28

Hey, the Phils lost. But it was just damn good to see some baseball being played after two nights of staring at walls.

Rapid Reaction: Nationals 5, Phillies 3

17

The Phillies dropped a tough one to the Nationals, ending their latest win streak at five.

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