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NLCS Phillies v. Giants: Now It's Personal

I went into this series thinking that it was hard to really hate the Giants.  It's easy to hate teams like the Braves and the Mets.  The Braves had Chipper Jones and Bobby Cox and the Tomahawk Chop.  The Mets had, well, does it really matter who they have?  They're the Mets.  Even the Dodgers for the last two post-seasons were easy to hate, with Manny Ramirez and fans that show up in the 3rd inning and leave in the 7th.

But the Giants were hard to put in this category.  They had a really strong rotation, no obvious personalities to hate, and some interesting characters in their makeshift lineup.

Not anymore though.  I hate 'em.  I hate them all.  And with Game 6 tomorrow, I look forward to watching the Phillies once more annihilate this ragtag team of losers.

How can I hate this bunch?  Easy:

Cody Ross and his warpaint eye black, his bald imp head, and his inability to realize he's Cody friggin' Ross at the plate.

Tim Lincecum and his look straight from the set of Slackers.

Buster Posey and his having been 2 years old when Mike Schmidt retired.

Freddy Sanchez and his 2006 batting title, one of the worst batting champs ever.

Matt Cain and his oafish curly hair.

Jonathan Sanchez and his NSFW glove.

Pat Burrell and Aubrey Huff and their oh-so-cute story of being college best friends.

Juan Uribe and his over-the-hill bat that somehow beat us in Game 4.

Pablo Sandoval and his inexplicable ability to play third base and hit despite looking like John Kruk, years after he retired.

Madison Bumgarner and his absurd name.

Brian Wilson and his face shoe polish.

Javier Lopez and his left arm that moves in freakish ways.

Aaron Rowand and his grand theft larceny contract.

Andres Torres and his awful leadoff hitting.

I used to think I could get through the series keeping them in some kind of decent regard.  But I was wrong.  I hate them.  I hate them all.  I can't wait for the Phillies to obliterate them come Saturday and Sunday nights.