Thome was with Cleveland when I was growing up. I never met him, but I met Travis Hafner and that dude is a refrigerator with legs. I’m no slouch, but I’m no Jim Thome. I’m trying, though. I was on an episode of The People’s Court when I was 15 or 16. My summer baseball coach was being sued by a player I was needed as a witness. The judge called me a behemoth on national television.