YAYYYYY!!! FIREWORKS! BURNT MEAT AND CARCINOGENS!
Let us all celebrate that wonderful day 234 years ago when a bunch of landed, slave-owning white guys in buckled shoes and wigs decided they wanted autonomy from a bunch of other buckled-shoe wearing jerks.
Joe Blanton, surely stuffed to the gills with bratwurst and brownies, will take the mound for the Phillies against Jeff Karstens of the Pirates.
Discuss the game below.