Some Phillies Links for You, August 4, 2010: 500 WINZ! Doc! Von Hayes! Moniker Madness! Conlin's Wrong! (Oh, and Ryan Howard is Hurt)

Phillies' Halladay misses perfection, but still good enough to tame Marlins
This headline may be what Mike Schmidt meant about "the agony of having to read about it the next day."

Phillies Notebook: Phillies' Howard could miss up to 3 weeks with sprained ankle
Oh, wells. This now answers the question of what it takes to get Chooch to the middle of the lineup. Off we fly with Team Bumblebee.

Phillies' Manuel joins elite 500-win club
The mile-high club having been joined years ago while playing in Japan. Shame he can't master the double-switch
(/Eskin'd). Congrats to the man who's made us forget about Gene Mauch just a little bit more. Article is chock-full of bar-bet trivia winz for you.

Hayes is in game for the long haul
Independent League Minor League manager profile, or obituary? You make the call. Von Hayes to me has some of the saddest-looking eyes in baseball.

ESPN BBTN Minute: Phillies Injuries
For you fans of Captain Obvious. Ah, pop culture's dust mite-sized memory. This "team of pedigree" is also the losingest professional sports team...ever.

SBNation: MLB Power Rankings
I generally loathe these lockerroom-comparison-inspired postings, but for the performance of the "bubble" playoff teams like the Phillies over the last two weeks. And look who's ranked right above them!

Phillies Nation: The Resilient Replacements
I was wondering how many replacement-level ABs the Phillies were racking up this year even before Ryan Howard got hurt.

ChrisOLeary.com: Pitching Mechanics Analysis - Johan Santana
Guess I should have looked at this before that fantasy draft #welldipmeinfluff. (h/t Bill Baer, Crashburn Alley)

NL East:

Amazin Avenue: Mets 3, Braves 2: Jeff Francoeur is the winner
LOLMETS... and it looks like Ollie Perez will be sticking around a bit longer.

Federal Baseball: Washington Nationals Run Into Joe Saunders, Arizona Diamondbacks Win 6-1
Like the city itself, I used to find Federal Baseball's headline writing style bureaucratically quirky and almost charming, and now it's just perpetually annoying.

Minors:

IronPigs snap losing streak behind Brian Mazone, Melvin Dorta
With real rare exceptions, it's an empire of s**t at AAA.

Ninth-inning rally gives R-Phils split
Um, this kind of makes it sound like they won the second game. Of note: The Ryan Howard garden gnome giveaway, on same day he goes on DL. Baseball's Chuckie?

Rizzotti having a blast as R-Phils return home
Go Tuffy Gosewisch, now in the sweet 16 of MiLB.com's "Moniker Madness" contest. He's in for a tough matchup with Bubbie Buzachero. Oh, and dig it, y'all: Matt Rizzotti proved Bill Conlin wrong, now joining the Bill Baer Club.

Lakewood defeats Greenville 5-1
Trevor May again... wild first inning, but then settled down for a 3BB, 8K, 0ER win.