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Placido Polanco Wins Gold Glove Award. Someone Cares, Somewhere.

Phillies third baseman Placido Polanco has won the Gold Glove Award for "best" "fielding" National League third baseman.

Fellow third base nominees Ryan Zimmerman and Scott Rolen were seen applauding the announcement, smiling and later saying how "happy" they were for Polanco.  "It's an honor just to be considered," a visibly intoxicated Zimmerman said before guzzling his seventh Amstel Light.*

As John Finger reports, with Polanco's award the Phillies have now received 15 of the 55 National League Gold Glove's at third base since the Award's inception (Mike Schmidt: 10; Scott Rolen: 4).

Shane Victorino's string of three straight Gold Glove's was broken, with the Dodgers' Matt Kemp claiming the award for center field, and Carlos Ruiz came in behind the Cardinals' Yadier Molina, Prince of Neck Tattoos, for the catching award.

List of National League Winners:

P - Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers
C - Yadier Molina, Cardinals
1B - Joey Votto, Reds
2B - Brandon Phillips, Reds
3B - Placido Polanco, Phillies
SS - Troy Tulowitzki, Rockies
LF - Gerardo Parra, Diamondbacks
CF - Matt Kemp, Dodgers
RF - Andre Ethier, Dodgers

* This didn't really happen.