Pussy-
fied Penthouse-owning, Playmate-boning, nasal-twanging
Hollywood-hounding Cali-boy
packing in his season with peanut butter and Oreos,
needing the constant adjustments and motivation
of masturbooing masses, post-messes,
the subject of endless debates.
[and now, the devastating change:]
Bar-brawling, bitchin' Camaro-driving
World Series MVP-winning
corner-turning, heart-cutting
cold-blooded
Assassin.
