Inspiration for a quick hack:
Valdez to Martinez to Gload, just how they wrote ’em in Spring Training
BaseBa'al's Sad Lexicon Valtinoad'd:
These are the saddest of possible words: "Valdez to Martinez to Gload." Replacement level with late leads and sore groins, Valdez to Martinez to Gload. Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble, Making a Mets hit into a double – Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble: "Valdez to Martinez to Gload."