BaseBa'al's Sad Lexicon: Valdez to Martinez to Gload

Inspiration for a quick hack:

Valdez to Martinez to Gload, just how they wrote ’em in Spring Training

by yolacrary on Aug 22, 2011 9:37 PM EDT

BaseBa'al's Sad Lexicon Valtinoad'd:

These are the saddest of possible words:
"Valdez to Martinez to Gload."
Replacement level with late leads and sore groins,
Valdez to Martinez to Gload.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Mets hit into a double –
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Valdez to Martinez to Gload."