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Phillies Considering Vernon Wells, I Lose Will To Live

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The Phillies are considering declining, overpaid Vernon Wells. I think "declining, overpaid" is the theme of their offseason.

Do the Phillies have an obsession with players who have large, oversized heads? You be the judge!
Do the Phillies have an obsession with players who have large, oversized heads? You be the judge!
Kirby Lee-US PRESSWIRE

Jon Heyman published a report a little over an hour ago fanning the flame of the Phillies interest in Cody Ross. Heyman's article says that Ross has generated quite a bit of interest, so maybe the Phillies can still dodge this parade float headed bullet.

Oh, and there's this other thing.

The Phillies apparently have interest in Vernon Wells now.

YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT. VERNON WELLS.

Heyman says that the Phillies are looking for a right-hander to bat cleanup behind Ryan Howard. Because a guy who has batted .222/.258/.409 over the last two season is perfect for that job. Oh, and by the way, Wells is owed a staggering $21m in 2013 and the same in 2014. So I'm guessing any trade for him would involve the Angels paying, well, nearly all of that.

I mean... what? Is this really happening? Is Ruben Amaro really doing this? If he's trying to trick us into being happy about a Cody Ross signing, it's working.