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Some Tuesday Phillies Links for You, May 22, 2012: Ain't got that (first-pitch) swing, Pat FanPix, and a lot of rubbin'

Home plate: yearning to be touched. Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE
Home plate: yearning to be touched. Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

Crashburn Alley " Blog Archive " The First Pitch
An elaboration on Victorino's first-pitch swing on Saturday night, in which we learn that Rollins' first-pitch swings are probably the main culprit behind his slow start.

Phillies Notes: New father Rollins gets some rest
This might be another factor. Congratulations to new dad Jimmy Rollins. Great, another distraction.

Phillies flounder in 2-1 loss to Nationals - BostonHerald.com

Pence is the most egregious of the offenders. In 15 plate appearances with a runner on third and fewer than two outs, he has advanced the runner a mere four times.

IT'S A BALL NOT A TREE YOU IDIOT

David Murphy: Phillies' struggles continue to mount
Primarily because they've got no heart. No hustle, neither.

We've Obtained Pictures of Pat Burrell Day Drinking and Grabbing a Girl's Breast in Northern Liberties Yesterday - Crossing Broad
Speaking of mounting.... Meanwhile, Hunter Pence can't get the guy in from third.

Inside the Phillies: No real rivalry 'buzz' came with the Nationals, who gave the punchless Phillies a routine beating.
Harper's too-smooth media training here lulls me to sleep. Wake me when he blows a post-HR kiss to Cole Hamels.

The Wild Rumpus of the NL Beasts

Homer is a bad name for a pitcher, but not as bad as Al Lowthreeinarow. Reds beat Braves, 4-1. - Red Reporter
Reds take a Leake on Braves. /PTB'd

Forget It, Mike, It's PNC Town; Mets Drop Everything in Pittsburgh - Amazin' Avenue

Turner Field will always be the Mets' House of Horrors, and Citizens Bank Park packed an awful lot of bad luck into a short period of time, but in the last five-to-six years, no ballpark has been the sight of more baffling Mets games than PNC.

It's a wonder the Pirates lose as much as they do, really.

Rockies Vs. Marlins Final Score: Colorado Starts With A Bang, Loses In A Whimper, 7-4 - Purple Row
Giancarlo Stanton broke a piece of the scoreboard video monitor with his grand slam off of Jamie Moyer, who walked four. So you know HPU Ted Barrett was on his game.

Minor leagues

Rolling out the tarp="other duties as assigned." Get yer ass wet after the break, busher.

Andres Blanco ends marathon with home run - mcall.com

Blanco's blast drove the last of the 15-dozen baseballs used in the game, five dozen more than normal. "That's a lot of rubbin'," said umpire attendant Marty Ondrovic, who is responsible for rubbing up the baseballs used in the game.

Jeff Schuler gets the interwebz h/t of the day for quoting the umpire attendant.

R-Phils edge Erie, 5-3
Leandro Castro and the gang. Trevor May pitches tonight.

Minors: Garcia cruises as Miracle top Threshers 7-1 " Naples Daily News
Brody Colvin, ehhh.

Lakewood rained out. Get your money's worth on June 11.