Catz Corner: Roy Halladay-ity Check: Ask Catz edition!

(The opinions expressed in Catz's Corner are neither approved, spell checked, or condoned by the editors and blog lords at The Good Phight, but hey, that's what happens when you let the inmates loose in the asylum.)

Well, it was bound to happen. Windows are meant to be opened and closed, and we had a good run, no? But with the news of Roy Halladays death by shoulder injury combined with the injuries to Carlos Ruiz, Jim Thome, Laynce Nix, Vance Worley, Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Michael Martinez and the ghost of Tug McGraw (am I forgetting anyone), coupled with the obvious reality that we are bound to trade Cole Hamels and Shane Victorino based on the insurmountable 4 game division and 2.5 game wild card deficits ahead of us.

Forget about the 6 and 4 game win streaks we put together over the past two weeks!

We still lost 7 of our last 19!

That's only a .638 winning percentage!

We were a good 9 wins better at this point last year!Drama free from May on right!

3.5 game lead!

Right? Who needs drama? Cause as fans, we don't want drama, we don't want a race, we want everything to be settled by July so we can coast into the playoffs and take what is rightfully ours. Screw these guys. I'm done. I'm done letting Raj and Charlie kill our pitchers, and our players, and probably some poor defenseless bat girl we don't know about. I'm ready to right this ship, and take the bull by the horns, with your help, and give you all the answers.

Cause really, we don't want anything but answers and smooth sailing, right? So follow me down the yellow brick road of change. After the Jump.

Dear joecatz, What are your thoughts on bunting? Signed doubleh

I got into my first "fight" in the third grade. Some kid taunted me, and I pushed him, he pushed me back, I pushed him again, then he clocked me in the nose. Fight over. I got suspended from school, went home and Pops scolded me. Not for getting into the fight, but for fighting like a girl. He taught me how to throw a punch that night, and from then on, whenever I got into a fight, I never pushed. I just clocked right for the nose. Blood. One punch. That first fight was the last one I ever lost. Bunting is equivalent to pushing. Its baseball for girls. (sorry ladies). And we should never attempt one again.

who should of we traided and who should of we kept? Phrozen

The last time the Philles won a world Series, JA Happ was still around, no? just saying... I think the bigger question is who should we have traided for. David Wright is hitting 400 right now. and with Chooch likely dead soon, we definitely should of kept D'Arnaud. right? cause Halladay is dead.

I heard on WIP this morning that it’s Charlie’s and Dubee’s responsibilities to keep pitchers from hurting themselves. Is this true? Signed, Bamboozled in Bucks County

I would take this one step further. Not only is it their responsibility, during the season teams should force players to live together under constant surveilance, Players should be coddled like babies, etc... Dubee and Charlie should both be fired for incompetence.I mean, someone has to take the blame for this team only being 1 game over 500 with half its regulars hurt. its a travesty of epic proportions, and Danny Ozark and Paul Owens are both rolling over in their graves.

When Utley comes back, can we just release Jimmy Rollins and replace him with Freddy Galvis? David Cohen

David, The biggest mistake this team made was resigning Rollins to a new contract with a superstar like Galvis waiting in the wings. In fact did you know that on April 27th, before moving back to the leadoff spot, Jimmy had 6 walks to 21 K's and was only hitting .216 with a .253 OBP?? Then he cried like a baby to Charlie, got his precious leadoff spot back, and has ONLY reached base safely in 26 of the 28 games since! Seriously, in 28 games back in the leadoff spot, he's only raised his OBP .50 points! hes still got 12BB and 19K's over that period! And the popups! I don;t have any evidence but I know he's popping up like crazy! and don't start talking to me about his .264 BABIP and that sabermetric stuff. Jimmy Rollins stinks and can't get on base and is a shitty leadoff hitter. end of story. Cut the ties now. Why wait for Utley? Move Galvis to SS and let that prospect Luna play 2B!

I keep hearing about this kid Darin Ruf on the radio and it sounds like he’s an awesome prospect. Won’t it fix the Phillies’ terrible offense if just make him the starting leftfielder right now, or do you think he’ll turn out to be a total bust like Domonic Brown? Taco Pal

I don't know much about this Ruf kid, but he's got a good sounding name and I picture him playing a gritty game, so I'm all for it. In fact, I'm all for rebuilding in general. Around toolsy prospect types. Don't get me started on this Brown kid. In fact, hes the one we shoudof traded for David Wright.

Dear joecatz, How does Joe Blanton still have a career? That guy is teh suck. He wouldn’t be a #5 in most rotations. Also, he’s fat. Signed, doubleh

I know right? did you watch that game last night? If RAJ had any sense about him he would have traded him to free up payroll for Oswalt. Hes a fat fat fatty who can't be trusted to do anything but eat. and not innings. food. If we had traded Blanton when we could have we might have more offense now, and could bring up Dave Bush permanently.

Dear Joecatz, Chipper Jones always has surgery on his knees and then he is back in the lineup the next day. Don’t you think Utley should just get the surgery and like man up and stuff? Very Truly Yours, topherstarr

Surgery is for P*&&^$S and D*&^%$#@GS. Real men play through pain.

Is Cliff Lee finished?

Whatever.

Also, JoeCatz: Is it true that you routinely date supermodels? If so, are any of them interested in being Wing-ettes in the next bowl?

Yes. No.

And finally, a three pronged question from Dannijd.

Q for joecatz, GM: If you could only make one move to help this team (and you are constrained by what a GM can do- no magically returning the walking dead to health), what move do you make? This could be a short or long term move, and may involve trades, signings, or terminations.

Easy. Hector Luna, Pete Orr and Erik Kratz to Lehigh Valley for Roy Halladay, Ryan Howard, and Chase Utley. no team will make a better deal at the deadline than that one. And you go with what you have for now and hope that adversity breeds strength.

Q for joecatz, Manager: What do you see as the greatest strength, and weakness of this team as it is presently constituted?

Honestly? I believe that this teams biggest strength and weakness at the same time is the fickleness of the fanbase and media. That and Juan Pierres arm. And Bat. And legs. and arm.

Q for Catztradamus, predictor of the future: Please give the return dates for the following: Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Roy Halladay.

Utley: May 18th 2012, via time machine. Yeah, he's gonna rock your world like that.

Howard: June 11th. Back to the DL June 14th.

Halladay; they said 6-8 weeks right? Right. Like that's gonna happen. he'll pitch monday.

Q for joecatz, fan like the rest of us: What can this team do to manage basic, yet important feats which seem impossible for them, like getting the runner home from third base?

Making contact helps. So does not bunting. And not stealing bases when its not necessary. As well as making contact. Also, getting on base. But from OUR perspective, as Fans, we need to remember to step back sometimes, and not allow every little thing to drive you insane. Personally, I'll take a race over a a stomping any day. If it's me, I'd rather be 3 games back and chasing till October and miss the playoffs, than run away with it like we did last season and be out in the first round. and honestly, maybe the best thing that can happen is if we miss. who knows.

Dear joecatz: If you could only say one thing to the fanbase to bring them off the ledge during these darkest of days, what would you say?

I'd say Chill out a little. it could be worse. Seriously. it could.

I'll leave you guys with this. As I mentioned in the intro, we've played .638 ball over our last 19 games. If we continued to play .638 ball until the All Star break, or, game 87, we'd be 48-39.

I checked out the last time we were EXACTLY 48-39 through 87 games.

Clearly that just won't cut it.

right?

Catz out.