Maurice Sendak, Reincarnated as Baseball Poet

So long, Maurice. It's been a wild rumpus.

...

There was once a man named Pierre
When caught stealing would say, "I don't care!"
Read his story, my friend, for you'll find
At the end that a suitable
Moral lies there

Charlie Manuel said
When Juan Pierre got ahead
-You're on base, my good man, score more runs is the plan!
Pierre said-I don't care!
-Please don't get caught stealing!
-I don't care!
-Don't make outs when you're wheeling!
-I don't care!
-Throw the ball well from left
-I don't care!
-And please hit with more heft
-I don't care!
-If you play the small ball --
-I don't care!
-then make runs for us all.
-I don't care!
-Can't you please take a walk?
-I don't care!
-You must not hear Gross talk...
-I don't care!
So Cholly benched our Pierre.

...and so forth. I imagine Chase Utley as the Lion who eats Pierre, and then, hopefully, this whole affair ends with Dom Brown emerging.

To be fair, he's been the Juan Pierre we all expected, and it's hard to argue with a .395 OBP (as of today), but it's hard to see that .347 BABIP sticking all year long. I just want...more...from my corner outfielders. The lion would eat Pierre and be hungry again in thirty minutes.

The original, complete with Carole King.