Oh, Dirty Bastard: Braves 5, Phillies 0

Just when you think you've seen everything, another ripe blessing spills forth from the 2012 Phillies Cornucopia of Suck.

Tonight, the sodden morsel that it presented us was a brutal eighth inning meltdown from Antonio Bastardo, spoiling a fine outing (seriously) from Kyle Kendrick, as the Braves topped the Phillies by a score of 5-0.

First, Ryan Howard. Kid looked good. Swinging at the first pitch he saw on the season, Howard slammed a double to deep right center, and later collected a single for two of the Phillies five hits of Tim Hudson and the Braves pitching staff.

The Phillies did not have a plethora of baserunners, but failed to execute on any scoring situation, including stranding Howard at second base after that no out double from Howard in the second.

So, let's move on to Antonio Bastardo. After a leadoff single to Matt Diaz, and a walk to Michael Bourn, the mercurial lefty induced pop-ups from Martin Prado and Jason Heyward. Then things got really bad. Bastardo walked Chipper Jones to load the bases, and then walked Freddie Freeman to force in the game's first run. Even though that turned out to be enough, we had to get the Nut Punch in the form of a Brian McCann grand slam. And that was that.

Look at the game graph. Look at it!

Source: FanGraphs