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Amaro's Gonna Pop Some Tags! The Phillies go thrift shopping for 2013.

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Is that your grandma's fifth starter? All you need to know about the Phillies' offseason recapped with a catchy tune. Almost certainly NSFW.

What you knowin' about wearin a fur fox skin?
What you knowin' about wearin a fur fox skin?
Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

CUE THE SONG.

[Amaro] Hey, Monty! Can we go thrift shopping?

What, what, what, what... [x7]

[Hook]
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty million in my pocket
I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a starter
This isn't fucking awesome

[Verse 1]
Now, walk into the Bank like, "What up, I got a big Pap!"
I'm so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop
Ice on the fringe, it's so damn frosty
That people like, "DAMN! That's a cold ass honkey."
Rollins in, hella deep, headin' to the mezzanine,
Dressed in all pink, 'cept my Patty hat, that is green
Draped in a leopard mink, girls standin' next to me
Probably shoulda washed this, smells like Pat Burrell's sheets
(Piiisssssss)
But shit, it was ninety-nine cents! (Bag it)
Coppin' it, washin' it, 'bout to go and get some compliments
Bummy and grungy, fuck it man
I am stuntin' and flossin' and
Savin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain, bitch
I'ma take your grandpa's style, I'ma take your grandpa's style,
Steven Lerud and Cesar Jiminez
A Michael Martinez that I found diggin'
I bought a Zach Miner, then I bought a Pete Orr
Hello, hello, my ace man, my Miller
John Wayne ain’t got nothing on my fringe game, hell no
I wouldn't take a Keppinger, make him cool, sell him
the SABR heads would be like "Aw, he got the Platoon Splits!"

[Hook x2]

[Verse 2]
What you know about rockin' a wolf on your noggin?
I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searching right through that luggage
'Cause right now I'm up in her skirt
I'm at the Goodwill, you can find me in the (No Uptons)
I'm that, I'm that sucker searchin' in that section (No Uptons)
I’ll take those flannel zebra jammies, second-hand, I rock that motherfucker
I hit the party and they stop in that motherfucker
They be like, "Oh, that Gucci - that's hella tight."
Bourn as center fielder? Let's do some simple addition
Five years at $90 million? - that's just some ignorant agent (sheeeeee-it)
I call that getting swindled and pimped (sheeeeee-it)
I call that getting tricked by a business
That player's hella dough
And having a lower wOBA than twenty other center fielders is a hella don't
Then you hella won't


[Hook]

[Bridge x2]
From that thrift shop down the road

[Hook]

Is that your grandpa's coat?