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Phillies Rumors Roundup: Arroyo, Ruiz, Pierzynski

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The Phillies are interested in Bronson Arroyo, which means I get to break out a clip of Arroyo playing guitar.

Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sport

I know everyone is still trying to process the EXCITING, SHOCKING Marlon Byrd news from earlier today. But Phillies rumors never sleep. They are constant, moving like the wind. Quick, catch them before they're proven completely wrong!

The Phillies have shown interest in righty Bronson Arroyo, according to Chris Cotillo of MLB Daily Dish. And they're not alone -- six other teams have reached out to Arroyo, including the Giants, Twins,  Orioles, and three unknown teams. Of the seven teams, one has made an offer, though it's not known which team it is. If Amaro is waiting at this juncture, you can't blame him -- not every free agent is a snap-him-up-quick, gotta-sign-him-before-he's-gone type like Marlon Byrd, after all! Arroyo, 36, has been in baseball for about 45 years now, it feels like. He's a durable innings eater who has pitched at least 200 innings every season since 2005 (with the exception of 2011 when he pitched "just" 199). He enjoys serving up the occasional home run (or two or three), but he's also consistent. His 2012 and 2013 stat lines are eerily similar.

In his spare time, Arroyo enjoys doing this:

In other rumors, the Rockies are still very much interested in Carlos Ruiz. How do we know? Troy Renck of the Denver Post has reported that the Rockies have made an actual offer to Chooch sometime in the last 48 hours. While I'm sure Chooch would look good in purple, and the yells of "CHOOOOOOCH" would sound superb echoing into the mile-high night, I still don't want him to leave. Don't go, Chooch!

But the Phillies are preparing for all eventualities. Well, they're preparing for this one.

Well, A.J. Pierzynski is certainly not Carlos Ruiz. I'm guessing that's why he's on the list of non-Chooch catching options. Oh, Chooch. Please come back so the Phillies can crumple up that silly list of non-you catching options and we can all welcome you with open arms and a resounding chorus of "CHOOOOOOOOOCH".

And lastly, CSN Philly's Jim Salisbury wrote last night about how no one wants to be the Phillies' new pitching coach.

Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. admitted Monday that he has struck out on some of the people he has pursued to be the team's pitching coach.

"We've made a couple of offers and they've decided to go different places," Amaro said.

Salisbury reported that the Phillies have spoken to eight possible Rich Dubee replacements. Of those eight, one "removed his name from consideration" (AKA "PLEASE STOP CALLING ME I SAID NO, OKAY?!?!"), two decided to stay with their current major league jobs, and three are no longer in the running to become the Phillies Next Top Pitching Coach.

Salisbury's report made the Phillies seem pretty pathetic, especially since they've been at this since early October. I now live in constant fear that they'll just rehire Dubee since they can't find anyone to take this job. Please don't do that, Phillies.

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