Symphony in BB: Phillies' Classical Walk-Up Music

Once upon a time, there were no walk-up songs. There were no overproduced beats with morally questionable lyrics laid on top of them, or cliche guitar riffs drowning out somebody's finger-slammed-in-the-door vocals. There was only a man, a sheet of paper, and roughly 60 musicians at his command. It might lead one to wonder, what would the Phillies batters choose as their walk-up music if they could only pick orchestral music?

Well fans, fear not, for I have a liberal arts education in music and am incredibly well-qualified to answer this very question for you. It says so on my degree, written in pretty calligraphy and in a dead language.

So without further ado, I present to you, the Philadelphia Phillies' symphonic walk-up music.

Ryan Howard: Symphony No. 1 in D Major "Titan," mvt. I - Gustav Mahler

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lZ5xPSmeo7o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Sure, he may go a little cold and quiet at times, but when he's on, he'll melt your face off. (Skip to 12:51 for face-melting.)

Chase Utley: "Mars, The Bringer of War" from The Planets - Gustav Holst

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AGGlL1wexQk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I wonder how many home runs Utley could hit with a sledgehammer.

Jimmy Rollins: "Ride of the Valkyries" from Die Walküre - Richard Wagner

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8HanD9RjfHA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Rollins and Wagner have a few things in common: they're loud, they're proud, they're good, and a lot of people don't like them very much.

Michael Young: Symphony No. 4 in E Minor, mvt. IV - Johannes Brahms

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dXGt45-04RY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Really a great piece at the start, but by the eighth minute in, you start to wonder how much longer you have to deal with it.

Domonic Brown: "Lemminkäinen's Return" from Lemminkäinen Suite - Jean Sibelius

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0YNQL65ozB0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

With the performance Brown has been putting on in Spring Training, The Hero's Quest may yet reach its happy ending.

Ben Revere: Finale ("March of the Swiss Soldiers") from The William Tell Overture - Gioachino Rossini

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YIbYCOiETx0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Run Rev Run.

Delmon Young: "Slightly Tipsy" from Hungarian Sketches - Bela Bartok

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kz9W9VSKA2E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

If you want, you can also picture him stumbling around in right field with this in the background, instead of down the street shouting racial slurs at people...

Carlos Ruiz: "Final Dance (Jota)" from Three-Cornered Hat Suite - Manuel de Falla

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/IvZynQ1uv1E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

About as fun to listen to as it is to watch Chooch play...which is a lot.

BONUS BENCH PLAYER TRACKS

Erik Kratz: Fanfare for the Common Man - Aaron Copland

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4NjssV8UuVA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Erik Kratz is from Telford, PA. Common people live in Telford, PA. You do the math.

Darin Ruf: "Hoedown" from Rodeo - Aaron Copland

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oZciIDZxLJo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

He's from Nebraska. You know he's been to one at some point.

Laynce Nix: "Bydlo" from Pictures at an Exhibition - Modest Mussorgsky

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/eUzRVVCLQKU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

He's built like an ox, why not have a walk-up about one? Besides, the spelling is too good to ignore.