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The Phillies are in Miami tonight to kick off a three game series against the mighty Giancarlo Stanton and the enfeebled Miami Marlins.
I'm sorry, what was that? Giancarlo Stanton has been scratched with a sore shoulder? Well, they have plenty of marquee players left! Jose Reyes and Josh Johnson! Oh come on, are you kidding me? They're gone too? They just got there like a year ago! Fine, ok, let me try again. Like that spry Juan Pierre! And melon headed Placido Polanco! And still incredibly cute Greg Dobbs! I mean, who wouldn't want to see them!? Anyone? Anyone at all?
So join us tonight as John Lannan and Ricky Nolasco duel in front of tens of fans. It's a game that can't be missed!