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A Complete Waste of Nine Minutes: Reds 1, Phillies 0

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I can't believe I'm writing up a recap of this.

Will you PLEASE hit the STRIKE ZONE you USELESS CANADIAN LUMP!?!
Will you PLEASE hit the STRIKE ZONE you USELESS CANADIAN LUMP!?!
Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE

The bottom of the ninth inning of last night's game lasted just nine minutes today.

Phillippe Aumont pitched to four batters and didn't get a single one of them out. The first batter, Zack Cozart, singled. Aumont then walked Joey Votto, because that's what he does. Aumont walks guys, and Joey Votto takes walks. They're a match made in heaven. (OR HELL.) The next batter flied out to Ben Revere... or he would have if Revere had caught the ball. But he didn't, which loaded the bases. Here's a factoid:

Jay Bruce was next, and he knocked a single to end the game.

And thus endeth my recap of nine minutes of baseball, all which featured Phillippe Aumont failing to control his pitches. Is there a form I can submit to Aumont to try and get my nine minutes back?