clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Phortune Cookies

New, comments

With an off day and some time to kill, the Phillies decided to order some takeout Chinese food. We here at The Good Phight were lucky enough to read their fortunes.

You will have best weekend of anyone in Mets uniform.
You will have best weekend of anyone in Mets uniform.
Elsa

It's a slow news day in baseball, so thank heavens for the joy of fortune cookies. I think we all enjoy a good fortune cookie with it's faint citrus flavor and benign, motivational poster-esque messages. Oh "Good things are coming your way" huh? Wow, apparently " A great opportunity awaits if I recognize it". The Phillies got an odd batch today that seemed unusually prescient and sometimes a little dark. A few highlights (Every single one of these is a real fortune, spelling errors and all):

Domonic Brown - "Be patient! The Great Wall didn't got built in one day."

Michael Young - "You have remarkable power which you are not using."

Jimmy Rollins - "Your co-workers take great pleasure in your sense of creativity."

Charlie Manuel - "Do not play for safety. It's most dangerous thing in the world."

Erik Kratz - "When you squeeze an Orange, Orange juice comes out. Because that's what's inside it."

Chad Durbin - "Every exit is an entrance to new experiences."

Roy Halladay - "Don't ask. Don't say. Everything lies in silence."

Freddy Galvis - "You will gain admiration from your Pears."

Ed Wade - "Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."

Ryan Howard - "You will spend old age in great comfort and material wealth."

Jonathan Papelbon - "If a robot promises to love you forever, it means it. Robots never die."

Ben Revere - "May the warm winds of heaven blow softly upon your sprint."

Ruben Amaro - "Your problem just got bigger. Think, what have you done."

Ruben puts on his sunglasses, turns and walks out as the confetti falls to the floor behind him. What other fortunes await the 2013 Phillies?