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Tonight, the Phillies start a very odd one game "series" with the Cleveland Indians. Cliff Lee returns to where he started, hoping to pitch a winner.
What? There was a game last night? No, you have to be mistaken. I would remember that.
Anyway, the Indians will be starting Trevor Bauer, and... Wait, you're kidding me. You're joking. A 14-2 rout? Come on, you've gotta be making that up. I would remember that!
I recapped this game, you say? We'll just see about that...
Why. Why did I look? I knew what would happen. It all came rushing back to me and I can't make it stop. Doc's three two-run homers. Durbin sucking. Valdes sucking. And the Delmon Young homer, over and over and over.
If tonight isn't better, well, there's nothing I can do about it. But rest assured I will do a lot of yelling at my TV and pleading with the universe.
Discuss the emptiness of existence and the game in the comments below.