Not Cole, man: Indians 10, Phillies 4

Eyes were on Cole Hamels, whose job was to maintain a three-game win streak, grab his second win of the season, and send the Indians out of town feeling irreversibly bad about themselves.

Instead of that, the Phillies created the stat that they are 1-8 in games started by Cole Hamels.

Earlier, when the afternoon was still young, Cole showed signs of wobbliness. He needed 25 pitches to get out of the first inning. He had chucked 51 to close out the second. He was at 77 by the end of the third. And it was in that third inning that Hamels' unsustainable shut out went sideways.

After a Jason Kipnis double and a walk to Asdrubal Cabrera, Mark Reynolds took a loopy hack at a pitch so thunderous that he seemed to injure himself. After a brief timeout, he stepped back into the box and smashed a two-run double.

The offense, which was recently fixed permanently, became the worst offense ever again. J-Roll answered Reynolds in the third with a clutch RBI single that knocked in Delmon Young. Two innings later, he'd double in Carlos Ruiz and John Mayberry to cut the deficit - now 5-1 thanks to a Mike Aviles home run - to 5-3.

But that would be it for a while. Hamels' spot in the lineup came up in the fifth with runners on the corners and Charlie Manuel went with Kevin Frandsen. This plan failed, as did many on the day, like the plan to not be completely iced by Indians starter Corey Kluber, who in his last start - five days ago - gave up eight runs in four and two thirds innings.

Hamels departed then, having surrendered five earned runs, two walks, and four strikeouts. All day, he was going deep into counts, not getting outs, and maintained about as much command over his audience as a Wiggle dancing on a dugout in the midst of a blow out.

Which is what things devolved into as the game went on.

Chad Durbin, as in "OH GOD CHAD DURBIN PLEASE NO," entered the game, and threw 0.2 of perfect baseball. Then he walked the Indians pitcher, Corey Kluber, who, as an American League pitcher, remember, never really gets to have at-bats, but looked right at home facing all of the Phillies' staff.

An infield single from Drew Stubbs, and suddenly, the Indians were threatening. Charlie Manuel raced out to the mound and replaced Chad Durbin with Jeremy Horst, who threw five balls in a row before Asdrubal Cabrera hammered home a pair of rather unnecessary Indians.

Philippe Aumont pitched a perfect "how is it only the" seventh, if by "perfect" you mean "down by four runs." Raul Valdes - who was found alive after going unseen for 10 games - threw the last two innings and only gave up a three-run home run to blow the game wide open.

Silver lining: We locked up Carlos Zambrano earlier today, so feel free to celebrate by watching this Fangraph wither and die.

Source: FanGraphs