clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Nose Knows: Phillies at Marlins Gamethread, May 21, 2013

We imagine that you'd like to forget last night's festivities. We can make that happen!

They call him...THE NOSE.
They call him...THE NOSE.

So do me a favor and follow my instructions exactly: first, find a quiet, peaceful place. Then, take two or three deep breaths. Find a nice image that you can center on, and just fill your mind with that image completely; do you have it? Are you thinking about that image? Okay, good. Just keep that image in your mind, clear as you can, and get ready for the most important step.

Open your eyes, taking with you the calm serenity of your meditation. Exhale slowly. Now, and this is the tricky part, calmly stand up, approach the nearest wall, and pound your head against that wall rapidly over and over and over and over and over again.

If you've followed me carefully, you should have no memory of last night's Phillies-Marlins game! In fact, you may no longer have real knowledge of who the Marlins and Phillies are, what baseball is, or how to use basic motor functions. You should probably go to a hospital!

But in case you're a true gritty gamer and are playing through your concussion, then tonight's game should be marginally more exciting. Young phenom Jose "The Nose" Fernandez goes up against...Tyler Cloyd. That's a mismatch on paper, but I've long been a believer that Cloyd can become something more than a 7th starter, and if there's anywhere he might shine, it'll be against the Miami Marlins. So, hey, who cares that you no longer have the capacity to see colors or learn new words -- we can make new memories yet!

Discuss home cures and the Phillies below.