The Phillies are pretty bad.
I know. This must be shocking to you. I'll give you a moment to absorb that news.
It almost feels like they missed a few steps in the instruction manual of how to set up your seasonal baseball team. Sort of like when you accidentally skip a page when you're putting together an Ikea table (named Glark or Flarb or something like that). All of a sudden you're putting the top onto four legs only there's nothing to secure it there. "Oh well, I guess it's fine" and then you end up with beer all over your floor and your phone. (That totally hasn't happened to me. Nope.)
Or maybe you just have a few random parts leftover and you don't know where they're supposed to go. That feels like the 2013 Phillies. There were a few of those flat washers left from Jimmy Rollins' assembly, but you used those to keep all of Laynce Nix's stuffing from falling out. Cole Hamels is missing a nozzle and the screws that attach Roy Halladay's legs can't be found. Delmon Young probably ate them.
Cliff Lee will face off against Taylor Jordan tonight. The Phillies are still playing baseball games because they have to. Discuss that AND your favorite piece of Ikea furniture in the comments below.
3 game series vs Nationals @ Nationals Park
Philadelphia Phillies The Good Phight
Friday, Aug 9, 2013, 7:05 PM EDT
John Lannan vs Dan Haren
Partly cloudy,rain. Winds blowing out to right field at 5-15 m.p.h. Game time temperature around 85.
|Sat 08/10||7:05 PM EDT|
|Sun 08/11||5:05 PM EDT|
#33 / Pitcher / Philadelphia Phillies
Aug 30, 1978
#38 / Pitcher / Washington Nationals
Jan 17, 1989