An apocryphal telling of the firing of Charlie Manuel, taking more than a little licentia poetica with the movie Good Will Hunting. Warning: Lotsa, like, non-work-safe language included below.
SCENE - CUT TO: EXECUTIVE CONFERENCE SUITE OF THE PHILLIES' HOTEL IN ATLANTA ON THE MORNING OF WEDNESDAY AUG 14
[CHARLIE MANUEL HAS BEEN SUMMONED BY PHILLIES PRESIDENT DAVID MONTGOMERY]
MONTGOMERY: This is a disaster, Chuck. I brought you in here because I wanted you to help me with this club, not to run them into...
CHARLIE: I, like, I know what I'm doing with the team...
MONTGOMERY: I don't care if you have a rapport with the team! I don't care if you have a few laughs, even at my expense, but don't you dare undermine what I'm trying to do here.
CHARLIE: Undermine?
MONTGOMERY: This team is at a fragile point right now.
CHARLIE: They is at a fragile point, okay? They got problems.
MONTGOMERY: Well what problems do they have, Charlie? That they're better off losing? That they're better off in the cellar? That they're better off playing like a bunch of retarded gorillas?
CHARLIE: Oh, well, you know like, why do you think they're doing that, Monty? Do you have any fuckin clue why? Hmmm?
MONTGOMERY: They can handle the problems. They can handle the games. They've obviously handled you.
CHARLIE: Monty, listen. Listen, you know. Why they losin'? Why ain't they playin so good?
'Cause, they was like abandon by the players who was supposed to help 'em most.
MONTGOMERY: Oh, come on don't give me that injury crap.
CHARLIE: Oh, no, listen Monty, and like why you think they playin' like them "retarded gorillas" as you called 'em? Because half of 'em, if you ask 'em, don't know a fuckin bat from their own rear end. They're screwed royally.
MONTGOMERY: [sighing] Yeah, that's very troubling.
CHARLIE: And, like, what are they handling? Our bullpen pushes games away when I can't leave the starters in. Our defense is a mess, alright? And for 20 games we been fallin' like a stone because of that. And if you push 'em right now it's gonna be the same thing all over again and I'm not gonna let that happen to 'em.
MONTGOMERY: Don't you do that, Chuck.
CHARLIE: What?
MONTGOMERY: Don't you do that. Don't you infect them with the idea that it's okay to quit. That it's okay to be a failure, because it's not okay, Chuck. And if you're angry at me for expecting success, for expecting you to win like you could have won...
CHARLIE: I ain't angry at you, Monty.
MONTGOMERY: Oh yes you are, Charlie. You resent me. But I'm not going to apologize for expecting success like we used to have. You're angry at me for meddling and still expecting this team to succeed like the old teams did. But ask yourself, Charlie, ask yourself if you want the team to feel feel that way. If you want them to feel like a failure.
CHARLIE: You arrogant shit. That's why I don't come to the goddamn executive dinners. 'Cause I can't stand that look in your eye. Ya know? That, like, condescending embarrassed look. You think I'm a failure.
[RUBEN AMARO JR. APPROACHES THE DOOR BUT STOPS UPON HEARING THE DISCUSSION]
CHARLIE: I know who I am. My, like public persona is a conscious choice. I'm no fuck up! And you an your cronies think I'm some sort of dumb hillbilly. You and your kiss-ass chorus front office following you around going, all, like "Mr. President, Mr. President!" Why are you still so fuckin' afraid of admitting failure?
MONTGOMERY [laughing]: It's about my forced signing of Howard and trading away Lee, isn't it? Oh God, I can call a press conference and admit it publicly.
CHARLIE: Oh please don't. Oh, you know what, Monty, shove the press conference up your fuckin' ass, alright? 'Cause I don't give a shit about your press conference, because I've been in the game since before you were a front-office God, alright? I been in this game since you was a pimple-faced homesick Wharton grad student who didn't know what side of the bed to piss on.
MONTGOMERY: Yeah, you were a smarter baseball man than me then and you're a smarter baseball man than me now, so don't blame me how this team turned out, it's not my fault.
[RUBEN REMAINS LISTENING AT THE DOOR WITHOUT ENTERING]
CHARLIE: I DON'T BLAME YOU! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, YOU MEDDLING DICK! It's about the team! We've got some good kids, and I won't see you fuck 'em up like you're tryin' ta fuck up me right now! I won't see you make Rube look like a failure, too!
MONTGOMERY: He won't be a failure, Charlie!
CHARLIE: But...but..if you hamstring him, Monty! If ya ride him!
MONTY: Charlie, we are the franchise we are today because I've been meddling!
[RUBEN AMARO OPENS THE DOOR; ENTERS THE SUITE]
CHARLIE: WE'RE NOT ALL YOU, DO YOU GET THAT?!
RUBEN AMARO JR: [softly] I..I..can come back...
MONTGOMERY: No come in...uh...I...I was just leaving.
[MONTGOMERY LEAVES THE ROOM]
CHARLIE: ... a lot of that stuff goes back a long way between me and him. It's not about you.
[CHARLIE MANUEL PICKS UP MANILLA FOLDER]
RAJ: What is that?
CHARLIE: It's my firing. The press release to the nation.
RAJ: Eh, you're not gonna flail me, are ya?
CHARLIE: Heh.
RAJ: What's it say?
CHARLIE: Wanna read it?
RAJ: Why? ... Have you had any, uh, experience with that?
CHARLIE: Like, 45 years in baseball, yeah, I've like seen some shit.
RAJ: I mean, have you had any...experience with that.
CHARLIE: Personally?
RAJ: Yeah.
CHARLIE: Yeah, I have.
RAJ: Sure ain't good.
CHARLIE: My former team. The 2002 Indians. A mean bunch of sucks. Our staff got hammered, beaten around. So I provoked Shapiro, so he wouldn't blame Thome and Sabathia. Interesting nights were when we batted Jolbert Cabrera [.111/.177/.125] first.
RAJ: Yah, Monty just put Pence and Vic on Cole the table and just say, "Choose."
CHARLIE: Oh I, like, I gotta go with Pence there, RAJ
RAJ: Nah, I went with Cole.
CHARLIE: Why Cole?
RAJ: 'Cause fuck him, that's why
CHARLIE: Montgomery?
RAJ: Yah.
So, uh, what is it, "We're moving in a different direction?" That sort of stuff? "Fear you can't handle a rebuild?" Is that why, uh, I'm firing ya?
CHARLIE: I didn't know you had.
RAJ: I guess I did.
CHARLIE: Wanna talk about it?
RAJ: Nah.
CHARLIE: Hey, Rube, I don't know a lot. But you see this, all shit shit?
[CHARLIE SHOWS RUBEN CONTENTS OF THE PRESS RELEASE ANNOUNCING HIS FIRING]
It's not all your fault.
Look at me, son. It's not your fault.
RAJ: [softly] I know
CHARLIE: It's not your fault.
RAJ: I know.
CHARLIE: No, no. You don't. It's, like, it's not your fault. Hmm?
RAJ: I know.
CHARLIE: It's not your fault.
RAJ: Alright.
CHARLIE: It's not your fault.
[softly] It's not your fault.
RAJ: [breaking down] Don't fuck with me.
CHARLIE: [assertively] It's not your fault.
[AMARO PUSHES MANUEL AS HE STARTS TO CRY]
RAJ: Don't fuck with me, alright. Don't fuck with me, Chuck. Not you.
CHARLIE: It's not your fault.
[AMARO BREAKS STARTS TO SOB LOUDLY AS HE EMBRACES MANUEL]
RAJ: Oh, God! I'm sorry!
[CAMERA SLOWLY PULLS AWAY LEAVING MANUEL EMBRACING A SOBBING AMARO IN THE SUITE]
CUT TO: LATE FALL, 2013
- EXTERIOR OF RUBEN AMARO JR'S YARDLEY HOME
[MANUEL EXITS HIS CAR, DEPOSITS A LETTER IN AMARO'S MAILBOX AND DRIVES OFF]
- EXTERIOR OF CHARLIE MANUEL'S SOUTH JERSEY RESIDENCE
[CHASE UTLEY KNOCKS ON DOOR OF MANUEL'S RESIDENCE. THERE IS NO ANSWER. HE LOOKS IN THE WINDOW SEEING ONLY A DARK INTERIOR. UTLEY WALKS BACK TOWARD HIS CAR UNABLE TO CONTAIN A BROAD SMILE. HE KNOWS MANUEL IS GONE. HE SHRUGS IN EXPLANATION TO RYAN HOWARD. HOWARD TAKES THE PASSENGER SEAT RESERVED FOR MANUEL. THEY DRIVE OFF TO WORKOUT AS BASEBALL FRIENDS]
- EXTERIOR OF I-95 S, SUNSET
[WE SEE A VIEW OF MANUEL'S CAR, HEADED SOUTH, AS AMARO JR'S VOICE READS THE LETTER MANUEL LEFT FOR HIM]
[Roll Credits]
