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Statler & Ohlendorf - Nats 6 - Phils 1

It would be mighty funny, if everything else weren't so damned sad about this season.

This Cormican guy is just killin' us out here.
This Cormican guy is just killin' us out here.
Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

So a week ago I heard the song Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers. It's a damned catchy song and probably the best earworm about a guy in an insane asylum ever written. But it could easily be about being a Phillies fan.

I keep hearin' you're concerned about my happiness
But all that thought you're givin' me is conscience I guess

Clearly here we're talking about management making sure fan favorites like Howard and Utley get resigned, as David Montgomery has stated previously.

If I was walkin' in your shoes, I wouldn't worry none

While you 'n' your friends are worried about me I'm havin' lots of fun

It's baseball, there are worse things I could be doing.

Countin' flowers on the wall
That don't bother me at all

Have you watched the games I've had to recap? Counting flowers sounds like a mighty pleasant diversion

Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one

Clearly this current squad is well short of a full deck. This might be a deck of 45, frankly.

Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo
Now don't tell me I've nothin' to do

Seriously, there's a KK start on, and I volunteered for this, this song is about both insanity and being a Phillies fan this season.

It's good to see you, I must go, I know I look a fright
Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light

I'm a blogger, clearly I live in my Parents' dark basement. It is time to return there.

And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete

The basement is carpeted. Though this could also be a reference to the old Veterans Stadium infield, which was said to be like playing on a parking lot.

So I must go back to my room and make my day complete

This is probably best left unsaid (I have to recap this game now).

Cesar Hernandez started the game by walking before he walked. Following a flyout from J-Roll Utley singled and drove Cesar to Third. Chooch then singled to Left, driving in Cesar. Following a mound visit the Princeton powerhouse Ross Ohlendorf K'd both Ruf (working away) and Asche.

The Nats stormed right back thanks to some spotty command by Kendrick and the Phillies playing the far too short Frandsen at First. Kevin Frandsen's barely 6 feet tall, Asche made a throw that was slightly high, but would have been easily handled by your standard issue 6'4"+ first baseman. Instead, it pulled Frandsen about 2 inches off the bag. Otherwise it would have been out 3, no runs scored.

In the Second, the Nats announcers talked about their home run call for Wilson Ramos, who then immediately hit a home run. Apparently this was the coolest thing that has ever happened in the history of baseball announcing, at least according to the Nats' cracked announcing team. (this was followed by a Zimmerman Homer the next inning to get up 3-1)

The Phillies threatened in the 5th, but this clearly angered Jobu, as the Nats busted out to a 6-1 lead in the bottom of the 5th. (it's also worth noting that Galvis, in the 5th was safe at Second, until Desmond lifted Freddy's hand off the bag to 'tag' him out. In the 6th, Ruiz got gunned down at Second, though it appeared he was safe, it was a bang-bang play). Kendrick was done after 4.1 innings and somehow the combo of Jiminez and Garcia were able to limit further damage after the Nats loaded the bases and put one across on KK with 1 out. It could have easily been much worse than 6-1 (side note - I may end up in goddam insane asylum if I have to keep listening to these idiot announcers for Washington).

Nothing really happened for several innings (unless you really enjoy the pitching stylings of Zach Miner). Look, I've been in the tank for embracing the tank, but dammit, can it at least be interesting? I also have to admit that 13 games in, the curse is getting a bit old. Early in the year there was hope, by the middle, it was kind of fun. Essentially I figured at some point I'd recap a win, until then I'll just have fun. Well, in July I had some fun with ghost stories, by August I had worked in post-apocalyptic zombie references, now here in September I'm referencing songs about insane asylums. Can you imagine what would happen if the season went through October? It really is shocking I haven't gotten a win, hell, I haven't even gotten a close game in months. Stay tuned for my next game when I recap to the song Revolver.

Source: FanGraphs